Whiggy Tease

Dupalicious!

2010-04-10T21:51:00.004-04:00

The Whiggy Tease Dupalicious line of Spring fashions are available by clicking at this link. Enjoy.

Casimir
Can you handle this

Ewa

Can you handle this

Jula
Can you handle this

I don't think they can handle this whoooo

Better move
Cause we've arrived

Lookin' sexy
Lookin' fly
Baddest chick
Chick inside
Dj
Polka tonight

Spotted me
A tender thang
There you are
Come on baby
Don't you wanna
Polka with me
Can you handle
Handle me

You gotta do much better
If you're gonna polka with me tonight
You gotta work your pierogi
If you're gonna dance with me tonight
Read my lips carefully, if you like what you see
Move, groove, prove you can hang with me
By the looks I got you shook up and scared of me
Buckle your seatbelt, it's time for takeoff

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya

Baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle this
I don't think you can handle this

I'm about to break you off
H-town goin hard
Read my hips
Slap my thighs
Swing my hair

Squint my eyes
Lookin' hot
Smellin' good
Groovin' like
I'm from Warsaw
Over my shoulder
I blow you a kiss

Can you handle
Handle this I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

Move your body up and down (whoo)
Make your dupa touch the ground (whoo)
I can't help but wonder why
My vibe's too poletastic for you babe

I shake my pierogi at every chance
When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance
I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have
Now let's cut a rug while we dance some polka

I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this pierogi
I don't think you're ready for this
'cause my body's too dupalicious for ya babe

Available soon as a ringtone.

Sorry, Flo. It will always be The Jake to us.

2010-04-03T22:31:00.008-04:00

It’s not like we want to upset Flo from Progressive Insurance. On the contrary. We here at Whiggy Tease find ourselves strangely attracted to her. Very strangely attracted.

However, the baseball stadium that sits below the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters in Cleveland will never be known as “Progressive Field” to us. It’s still Jacobs Field, or as we locals call it, “The Jake.”

So we’ve got a t-shirt for that.

What we’re lacking in a fancy design, or originality for that matter, we make up for in volume. There are tons of items with this design, and an even simpler alternative design, on sale now in our section just for Cleveland sports fans. Click here to visit.

But it ain’t just about our local ballpark. It’s about all ballparks. Look, we love capitalism as much as anyone, but the purchases of stadium naming rights by large corporations just make us want to vomit in our collective mouths. You know?

So in our Misc. Nonsense section, we have shirts for our beloved customers/baseball fans across the country. Chicago is our kind of town…

We like Toronto as well. It's actually very important to our 2010 Marketing Plan that Whiggy gets into the Canadian market.

As for New York, we reckon a new stadium should keep the old stadium’s name.

We have a series we’ll do for football stadiums, but we’ll start selling those in August.

Baseball season starts Monday. Yes, we aren’t counting the Sunday night game between the Yankees and the Red Sox, just to punish ESPN for shoving that matchup down our throat for the first of 64 times this season.

Start shopping. Play ball.

This is a Big Deal, indeed.

2010-03-23T21:57:00.003-04:00

If you tuned in to see President Obama sign the health care bill, this is what you saw...

Perhaps your reaction was “Wow, that’s funny.” Or you may have thought, “Oh dear, that’s unfortunate.” Maybe your mood turned angry . “After all that hard work,” you may have thought, and Biden goes and ruins the moment.”

At Whiggy Tease, we thought, “Now, how can we make money off of this?”

Uh, we mean, “Our customers would be interested in this, how can we best serve them with a quality and timely product?”

Our first product is perhaps the most obvious.

Next, we have more of a general shirt that should have a longer shelf life.

Thinking ahead, but not too far ahead, is this item…

… this is also available as a golf shirt.

Finally, we have this offering.

All of these shirts are available at our front page, which you can get to by clicking here. You can also find variations on this theme in The O Store at this here link.

You’re welcome, America.

It's the Whiggy Tease Beach Party!

2010-03-18T13:23:00.009-04:00

St. Patrick’s Day is over. The college basketball tournament has begun. This can only mean Spring Break is right around the corner!

Are you ready?

Do you have everything you need? Let us answer that question for you. “No, you are not ready.”

You need to shop at the Whiggy Tease Beach Party, because you need a beach bag.

We have plenty to choose from. We have bags for conservatives…

… and we have bags for liberals...

In fact, we have bags for everyone.

Shop around , as there’s more waiting for you at the Whiggy Tease Beach Party.

Barack Obama is coming to town, and you have nothing to wear.

2010-03-09T22:03:00.018-05:00

President Barack Obama is coming to Cleveland next week to give some speech on health care and, we are optimistic, tour the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters building.

Perhaps you’re going to the speech. You have nothing to wear. We can fix that.

Or perhaps you don’t live near Cleveland, but you need some Obama swag. Whiggy Tease can fix that too. We have the Obama font, you know, and we’ve been hard at work.

The focus group seemed to like this shirt…

… and the bumper sticker to match…
… and the variation on that bumper sticker.
Others told us that George Bush was yesterday’s target. Today’s target? Tea baggers. So, we can take care of that for you with this shirt…
… or that shirt, which is much more artistically interesting.
Oh, we at Whiggy Tease know we have conservative customers as well. Have you seen our new Reagan gym bag?
We have shirts for Obama fans who want to take a subtle, yet retro dig, at Sarah Palin…
We also have shirts for people who don’t do subtle… Or people who are more aggressive...

But wait, there’s more.

Whiggy Tease also has shirts for people who want to make a, well, different kind of statement...

Finally, there’s this lovely retro shirt.
All of this is available in THE O STORE, along with last year’s line of coffee mugs, mouse pads, beer steins and the like.

So, stimulate the economy. Buy now. Click right here. Everything is on sale until Easter.

Whiggy Tease has the Obama Font, and we aren't afraid to use it!

2010-03-02T10:21:00.008-05:00

Whiggy Tease has secured the official Obama font. We are not afraid to use it. In fact, we’ve already created some official looking Obama swag with it, and we’re ready to sell it to you. Warm up your credit card.

First, you need a bumper sticker…

It’s not only clever, it’s really clever. It’s a throwback to the 1964 Goldwater vs. LBJ race, and you know how excited we are about such things here at Whiggy Tease. Do you have 9 friends? Then, buy a 10 pack. Do you have 99 friends? If so, maybe you want to buy a pack of 100.

A similar design is also available on a line of shirts…

We also have an Obama response to Sarah Palin's taunt about how that "hopey-changey thing" is working out...

All of this, and plenty more, is available in The O Store. So, why don’t you start stimulating the economy and start shopping? Click here to begin your journey.

Now that Whiggy Tease has the Obama font, can we now make a ton more of official looking, yet slightly more aggressive, Obama swag for you?

Yes we can.

Survey says!

2010-02-19T18:00:00.009-05:00

The assignment for the Whiggy Tease interns was simple. Using the Google, sniff around to see what kinds of other political and historical swag our competitors were making. Bring us examples, and we’ll copy them, er, we will make them even better.

So our interns reported the following: “There’s a lot of ‘WORST PRESIDENT EVER’ stuff out there. It’s mostly with George W. Bush, but of course, the tea baggers are making stuff with Obama on it.”

It seems that “WORST PRESIDENT EVER” is the “MEAN PEOPLE SUCK” of 2010. So, we decided to make a George W. Bush WORST PRESIDENT EVER shirt, and here it is…

It’s a lovely product. But here’s the problem… is it stale? Is it too old to be fresh, and is it not old enough to be retro? Also, and here’s the more important question… is it true? Is George W. Bush the WORST PRESIDENT EVER?

So, we sent the interns back to the Google machine, and they reported that according to some historians that C-SPAN found, George W. Bush is not the WORST PRESIDENT EVER.

Using a complicated formula which weighs Public Persuasion, Crisis Leadership, Economic Management, Moral Authority, International Relations, Administrative Skills, Relations with Congress, Vision/Setting an Agenda, Pursued Equal Justice For All and Performance Within Context of Times, 64 historians determined the five worst presidents to be James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, Franklin Pierce, William Henry Harrison and, of course…
… Warren G. Harding. Warren G. Harding, the shame of the Buckeye State.

We have created shirts for all of these WORST PRESIDENTS EVER and made them available in our brand new “Hall of Presidents” section in the Historical Stuff store.

But then, we reflected on the “Mean People Suck” bumper sticker of the early 90’s. Are we being mean? And if we are being mean, as such, do we in fact suck?

So we sent the interns back to the Google to find another Presidential survey. By now, they were at Happy Hours. They sent us back one of those text messages with a link to something called Nerve with a ranking of The Top 43 Sexiest Presidents.

So, for the ladies, we offer shirts featuring Nerve’s Top 5. Franklin Pierce, he of the WORST PRESIDENT EVER ranking, returns at #5.

Next is Thomas Jefferson, followed by…

... Barack Obama. Of Obama, Nerve said “Smart, funny, and have you seen him with his shirt off? Barack Obama is a damn sexy man, with a damn sexy wife.”

JFK was #2. And coming in at #1 was…

Yes, Teddy Roosevelt. We’ll let Nerve explain…

“At first glance, Roosevelt may be a strange choice for number one, but the guy had everything. He wasn't the best-looking president, but he was damn handsome. He was in ridiculously good shape and a rugged outdoorsman. He cared passionately about the environment, bravely lead the way into battle, and fought against corruption in every office he held.

"Theodore Roosevelt was so sexy that if he slept with your girlfriend, you'd be flattered. He's part Chuck Norris (meme Chuck Norris, not actual Chuck Norris), part Evel Knievel, part John Wayne, and part Daniel Craig. He was the most popular man in America for a reason, and our sexiest president ever.”

So, there you go America. Now, start shopping.

The Whiggy Tease Presidents Day sale!

2010-02-10T20:28:00.007-05:00

The prices at the Whiggy Tease Presidents Day sale are so low, you’ll think we lost our lease. Actually, the prices are so low, you’ll think we are suffering from low self-esteem. You may fear we actually hate ourselves.

Rest assured, Whiggy Tease Nation, nothing could be further from the truth.

Trust us.

Look, we love our customers, and we love Presidents Day because we don’t have to go to our day job, so we want to pass some of this excitement on to you through an insane sale. Based on our market research, you have four favorite Presidents.

So you can go to the Whiggy Tease departments for Abraham Lincoln, James K. Polk, Ronald Reagan and Barack Obama and go crazy.

Every item in each of these stores has been drastically reduced.

But there’s a catch. This sale won’t last forever. In fact, our fellow Americans, this sale ends at our CEO’s bedtime on Monday.

And his bedtime is earlier than you might expect.

Sarah Palin, palm reader.

2010-02-08T21:02:00.006-05:00

Sorry this product took so long, but it’s hard to find a professional hand model on short notice, and with all this snow we’ve been having.
So, to Sarah Palin, reading a teleprompter is wrong, but writing on your hand is okay. Maybe you agree, maybe you disagree. But one thing can unite all Americans – while Whiggy Tease was the ninth person or corporation to come up with Palin Palm swag, our swag is the best.

We have shirts, buttons, clocks, tote bags, and of course, coasters. So start yer shoppin. Click here to begin your journey.

You are not yet prepared for what happens after the lovin'.

2010-02-05T12:09:00.004-05:00

We here at Whiggy Tease doubts that you are prepared for what comes after the lovin’ on Valentine’s Day.

Hell, we are not all that certain you are necessarily prepared for Valentine’s Day. Look, how can your lover be absolutely certain you love them unless you buy them a Valentine’s Day card from Whiggy Tease?

They can’t be certain, that’s the answer.

So, start shopping. We have 32 cards from which to choose. The first dozen or so are sappy and romantic. After that, they get a tad more aggressive and/or specific. Whatever your needs, we’ve got you covered. Click here to start shopping.
But what happens after Valentine’s Day? What happens on February 15th?

PRESIDENTS’ DAY HAPPENS ON FEBRUARY 15! AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR.

We can take care of that here at Whiggy Tease. Click here to start your Presidential Shopping Experience.

We’d like to call your attention to the Lincoln store and the Polk store. There’s some serious new swag in there for our two best Presidents ever. That’s right. Don’t be dissing James K around us. Oh, and don't forget to shop in the O Store for your Obama swag. Don't worry, liberals - he'll get his mojo back.

Finally, it’s not too late into 2010. You can still buy the Presidential swimsuit calendar, Hail to the Beef. Start shopping. Because, after the lovin,’ you want to make sure she’s still in love with you.

This Valentine's Day, get your lover a nice card.

2010-01-15T14:03:00.015-05:00

Remember last Valentine’s Day? The card you bought your lover was probably an after-thought.

You were in Target getting kitty litter and you remembered you needed to get a card. Any card. So you wandered over to the card section, remembered that your lover liked politics and history, so you grabbed some card with Barack Obama or George W. Bush on it. And it was okay.

But is “okay” really good enough for your lover? Of course it isn’t. This Valentine’s Day, get your lover a nice card. From Whiggy Tease.

Oh, sure, we have nice cards with Barack Obama, if that’s what you want. We have cards with him and Michelle that read on the inside “You’ll always be my First Lady.” Now, that’s a nice card. Very romantic.

Perhaps you can get a card like that at Target. But can you get a “You’ll always be my First Lady” card at Target featuring the Reagans? How about the Washingtons? Lincolns? Eisenhowers?
How about Grover and Frances Cleveland? Warren and Florence Harding? James K. and Sarah Polk? The Nixons?
Well, you can get cards like that, not at Target but at “My Whiggy Valentine.”

It stuns us how romantic this card is.

But wait, there’s more.

We have cards with different insides, featuring this PDA couple…

… and this lady… … and this guy… But wait, there’s even more. What if you need a card for your mistress?

Whiggy Tease can take care of that too. We also have other cards for other Valentine’s desires, but we’re not going to go into that just now.

So, when you’re in Target, concentrate on the needs of your cat. But when you’re thinking about ways to please your politically-minded lover on Valentine’s Day, come to Whiggy Tease.

So, which card are you going to get your lover?

You need a calendar. We can take care of your needs, and then some.

2010-01-06T20:55:00.006-05:00

It’s 2010. America is ready for its Presidential Swimsuit Calendar… from Whiggy Tease, of course.

Whether you call it “twenty-ten” or “two-thousand ten,” we all agree on the fact you need a calendar. You need a calendar of U.S. Presidents frolicking in the surf and by the swimming pool. It’s Commanders-in-Chief. It’s beefcake. That’s right, it’s…

… the Whiggy Tease 2010 Hail to the Beef calendar.

Who’s our target audience on this one? Hell, who ISN’T our target audience? Historians. Politicians. People who love a good beefcake calendar. People who think a beefcake calendar is ridiculous. Those who think our Presidents are awesome, and those who think they become more human with shirts off. Democrats and Republicans will go insane for this item.

We’re not kidding. The Hail to the Beef calendar was off the charts in the focus groups. The words “tingly feeling” were used. Sure, the words “sick, sick, sick” were also used, but we think in a “wicked awesome” kind of way.

President Gerald Ford is Mr. April.

But it’s not about us and our extensive focus grouping. Oh no, it’s about you the beloved Whiggy Tease customer. This calendar is a sure fire conversation starter amongst your friends, relatives and co-workers. It will get you the attention you deserve, plus it will help you keep track of what day of the week St. Patrick’s Day will fall on in 2010.

Also, rest assured that this is a quality product. Look, it's not crap, okay? First, it’s 17 X 11, so it’s a nice big quality calendar. Check that, each picture is 17 X 11 – full bleed. When fully extended, the calendar is 17 X 22. So make some space on your wall for the beef.

President Bill Clinton is Mr. September.

It’s 100 lb cover weight high gloss paper, and it’s all wire-o bound together. In addition, the calendar has oversized date boxes providing plenty of room to write in important events.
What are you waiting for? Get shopping. Click RIGHT HERE to order your calendar.

May God bless you, and may God bless these United States of America. And her beefy Presidents.

What's your New Year's Resolution? To be green? Whiggy Tease can help.

2009-12-29T22:01:00.001-05:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whiggy Tease has heard it all before. This year will be different. This time, you're going to stick to your resolutions for the New Year. In 2010, you're going to quit smoking, you’re going to lose weight, you’re going to get some treatment for that sex addiction problem.

Whatever.

How about a resolution that you can keep? You know, perhaps try to reduce your huge carbon footprint just a little bit. For starters, you can stop with the paper or plastic when you go shopping, and start using those reusable canvass bags.

Whiggy Tease resolves to help you out with that.

Next time you go to the grocery store, why don’t you take Barack Obama with you?

You want to be green, the President wants you to be green. So order the above bag.

Or order the below bag. It doesn’t’ matter to us. Our profit is the same.

Thing is, you need to herby resolve to order some bags. Now, while President Obama is an environmentalist, you can make an even stronger statement. Yes…

… buy your very own Al Gore bag. Take it to the grocery store. Or, take it to your local home improvement store and fill it up with those energy efficient light bulbs.

2010 will be different. 2010 will be better. Thanks to Whiggy Tease.

After she says yes, what happens? Here's a hint - it involves Whiggy Tease.

2009-12-28T05:32:00.000-05:00

New Year’s Eve is as good of a time as any to propose to your girlfriend. Now, suppose she says yes. What happens next?

Perhaps you “celebrate,” if you know what we’re saying. We think you do know.

Well, perhaps she calls her parents to tell them the big news. You call your parents. Then perhaps you think about who’s going to be in the wedding party, where you’ll get married and when, and talk about a honeymoon.

But sooner rather than later, you’re going to talk about your wedding registry. Maybe a nice department store, perhaps a Target type big box, and perhaps a specialty shop.

When planning your wedding registry, you need to consider Whiggy Tease.

That’s right. How many towels and plates do you need? You don’t want to be one of those Boring Married Couples, do you? No, you don’t. You’re going to need some cool swag, and there’s no place cooler than your favorite on-line store, Whiggy Tease.

Look, the Whiggy Tease Wedding Registry would be the perfect way for you to get all the Presidential Christmas ornaments you need. The registry is the quickest way to get all the coffee mugs you want. And what about coasters? Good lord man, do we not talk about the necessity of coasters enough here?

You’re also going to go on a honeymoon, right? Look, we can’t help you with everything you need for your honeymoon. We are not Ambiance the Store for Lovers. But are you going somewhere warm? Somewhere near a beach, perhaps? Well then, you’ll need to register for our new beach bags.

It just goes on and on. You need to register at Whiggy Tease.

Here’s how it will work. E-mail Whiggy Tease at whiggytease@hotmail.com. Tell us who you are, when your wedding is and where, and tell us what Whiggy items you want. Or, just tell us your interests and political persuasions and your Whiggy Tease wedding consultant will do the rest for you.

We’re serious.

We’ll create a website just for your wedding. You can e-mail it to all your friends. You can put it in your wedding announcements. Your friends can find it on the Google. You’ll be a Cool Married Couple, and that’s important.

Congratulations on your engagement. Now, let’s start registering!

What are you doing New Years Eve?

2009-12-26T00:36:00.001-05:00

Whiggy Tease wants to know what are you doing New Years Eve. Specifically, we want to know if you’re really planning on putting that champagne glass down on a table or bar.

Look, you need coasters. You need classy coasters. You need the Whiggy Tease coasters from our “I’d like to make a toast” collection.

All of your favorites are here, ready for your half-consumed champagne.
But wait, there’s more. Click here to shop the entire I’d Like to Make a Toast collection. Order soon, you'll have them for your New Years Eve party.

You don’t want to leave a stain on that nice woodwork, do you?

You think you're done shopping? Well, you're not. Get a load of THIS!

2009-12-16T20:31:00.004-05:00

We were going to spend the evening here at Whiggy Tease HQ rolling around in all of our money. We’re filthy dirty rich, you know, due to the success of the coffee mugs (scroll down to see the old and new mugs).

However, we took a rest from the rolling and opened a nice bottle of Great Lakes Christmas Ale.

As we looked around for something to pour it in… our latest idea struck.

Here they are.

Oh, there will be more where these came from.

Shop right now. You don’t have a second to lose. Click here for the Obama stein, and here for Reagan.

Have you seen the new coffee mugs?

2009-12-11T22:59:00.010-05:00

People have been delighted, just absolutely delighted with the first Whiggy Tease coffee mugs.

While people really enjoyed the mugs with W and Condi, Nicolas Sarkozy, Bubba and LBJ, they went insane for the Barack Obama mug, pictured here…

So, if you liked your first serving, you’re really going to like a refill. Yes, we can freshen that up for you, hon, with another round of Whiggy Tease coffee mugs.

Let’s start overseas with Tony Blair…

Next, let’s go with America’s favorite Accidental President, Gerald Ford. What Republican, no check that, what American wouldn't enjoy coffee and toast with President Ford?

The other side of this mug shows the White House press corps just giddy with excitement over Ford's toasting skills. You'll want to buy four of these. At least.

Now, Whiggy Tease doesn’t have enough Kennedy stuff in our store. We admit that. We’ve hired an artist to work on that. Until then, why don’t you enjoy a nice cup of coffee with Jack and Bobby?

Or, perhaps you also enjoy coffee with President Harry S. Truman and his good friend Averell Harriman?

Finally, we get back to jolly old England with Gordon Brown. Here he is at a local Starbucks, pestering Blair about when he finally gets to be Prime Minister.

Now, start shopping! Click here and scroll down. Don’t just buy mugs for yourself, because that would be selfish and hateful. You need to buy Whiggy Tease mugs for everyone on your Christmas list.

There’s free shipping through Sunday, you know, with coupon code LASTSHIP.

Hey, while you're at it, you might want to get some coasters...

Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the Supreme Coasters.

2009-12-02T12:09:00.006-05:00

We here at Whiggy Tease reckon that when most attorneys gaze upon themselves in the mirror, they see a future U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice looking back at them. It’s probably the same for judges and the majority of law professors.

We assume this phenomenon is even more likely to occur when alcohol is involved.

Having said all that, what do you get your favorite attorney, judge or law professor for Christmas or an upcoming birthday? Or perhaps as a graduation gift? Is there something Whiggy Tease could do for you?

Oh yes there is.

You may approach, and you may start buying the well-focus grouped Supreme Coasters. We have lovely tile coasters of all seventeen – or eighteen, depending on how you view history – Supreme Court Chief Justices in American history.

Listen to this red hot rhetoric from our vendor: Liven up any room or party with our fun, hip tile coasters, measuring 4.25” x 4.25” and 1/6-inch thick. Images are applied with a polyester resin that accepts dye as part of the coating. Four felt pads protect your furniture from scratches. Dishwasher safe. Not for use with abrasive cups and mugs.

You probably shouldn’t be using abrasive cups and mugs, anyway.

We designed these with beer in mind, but Attorney Mike A. had this suggestion: "If you've ever wanted to apply steaming hot liquids to the face of your least favorite jurist, here is your chance!"

So there you go. Buy them because you have a Chief Justice you love, or buy them for those you hate. Either way, your money is good with us.

There have been seventeen men who wanted to be Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court. Then there was William Cushing. He had no interest in the job, but President George Washington appointed him to Chief Justice… or tried to appoint him.

Cushing turned him down. While he liked being on the Supreme Court, he didn’t want the Top Job. Some folks feel Cushing was actually Chief for three days before he realized it or got around to quitting. Others feel since he never accepted, he was never really Chief.

It’s a great topic to discuss over beer with your law buddies. See how this works?

Click here to start shopping.

Fight back in the War on Baby's First Christmas!

2009-11-29T14:50:00.007-05:00

There is a war going on in America. It’s a War on Christmas. To be more specific, it’s a War on Baby’s First Christmas.

The War isn’t against every baby, however.

If your baby is 0-3 months, he’s fine. 3-6 months is okay too, as is 6-9 months.

You see, you can find “Baby’s First Christmas” clothes for a baby this size.

But what if your baby is getting all geared up for Christmas, and he or she was born in late December, January, February or March? Try to get this kid a shirt that says “Baby’s First Christmas.” You’d be out of luck, and so would your kid, as the big stores – Corporate America, if you will – sell no such thing.

Worse yet, what if back in January, you gave birth and your baby is a bit of a Bubba? Perhaps he’ll be wearing 18 month clothing by Christmas.

Trust us, there is nothing… NOTHING for this kid to wear.

That is, until Whiggy Tease decided to declare war on the War on Baby’s First Christmas.

The Concerned Big Sisters and Cousins of America got together and designed a special line of Baby’s First Christmas clothing. It’s big enough for your 9-12 month baby, even if he’s a Bubba.

Please note we did not give the children Diet Coke, an adult left the drink on the table to take this photo. Really.
The line is also available in little baby sizes as well. You see, unilke Corporate America, we love ALL babies here at Whiggy Tease.
Start shopping. It’s all available in our Christmas department, along with the Presidential Christmas ornaments.

Reasons to Save the Earth on Black Friday.

2009-11-27T01:10:00.000-05:00

The dynamic duo of two ladies named Betsy and Denise make up the Whiggy Tease Street Team. They’re also part of Street Team, and they’re working on the Internship Program. But today, we’d like to celebrate their role on the R & D team.

These gals came up with the idea for the “Save the Earth” theme. There’s swag with “Save the Earth, it’s the only planet with chocolate.” There are versions celebrating bacon and beer as well.
Honestly, we never thought these items would sell. But that’s why we have an R & D team. You see, not only have these items sold, they’ve sold big, and they’ve sold well in Europe. Well, the chocolate version and the beer version have sold well across the pond. We reckon they don’t eat bacon in Europe, but we really don’t know and aren’t inclined to look into it.

They also make excellent birthday gifts.

The point is, the Save the Earth theme is hot. So, we’re going to celebrate Black Friday by having a Save the Earth sale.

Until recently, the Save the Earth swag consisted of t-shirts. Now, there’s more. A lot more.

Tons more.
What are you waiting for? Go to the Save the Earth department right now and shop. Shop! SHOP!

Forget Black Friday. Start shopping on Whiggy Wednesday!

2009-11-25T01:48:00.001-05:00

You have a choice.

You can get up early on Friday, the day after you stuffed yourself with turkey, and get out in the cold and fight crowds covered with flu germs and probably head lice in some God forsaken Wal-Mart or Best Buy and try to get your hands on cheap plastic crap.

Or, you can stay in the comfort of your own home, or your in-laws, and relax, stay warm, sit down at a computer and buy some great Whiggy Tease stuff. It's Whiggy Wednesday, and like the Big Boxes, we’re putting our most popular stuff on sale.

That’s right.

The Presidential Christmas Ornaments.

All of the Christmas ornaments are on deep discount. Our Accountant is going to kill us when she gets back from her in-laws. Deep discount on every single ornament. This sale must end Sunday.

But wait, there’s more.

Not only do we have every President and a few foreign leaders, we’ve added a new ornament…

Bo the First Dog. Yes, the first dog has an "official portrait." It's true.

Stay in your house and get your shopping done right now. Black Friday in public is for chumps.

Conservatives vs. Liberals at Christmas.

2009-11-23T20:48:00.003-05:00

The Accountant dropped by this morning unexpectedly, and unwelcomingly if we must be honest. “Have you boys looked at the Christmas ornament sales?” she hissed.

Of course we have. The sales are great.

“Look at the cross-tabs,” she said.”

And there was the discrepancy. Of all the Presidential Christmas ornaments we’ve sold, over 76% of the sales have been of Republican/conservative Presidents (and Prime Ministers), while less than 24% have been of liberals.

Do conservatives really love Christmas that much more than liberals?

Or, are conservatives just early Christmas shoppers? Because they have more money?

Regardless of your political affiliation, or the political affiliation of those on your shopping list, it’s time to start shopping. Click here to buy some ornaments, or here to browse around the entire store.

The Whiggy Tease Junior Players present our second YouTube commercial.

2009-11-22T17:37:00.002-05:00

Children love Christmas, and they love James K. Polk – our eleventh President. The Whiggy Tease Junior Players know this as well, and that’s why they filmed this commercial for the You Tube.

There are three different versions of this spot, including one that breaks out into a dance party.
Find them all on the You Tube, or perhaps we’ll get around to posting all three.

The Polk ornament, plus ornaments for the rest of the Presidents plus some other folks of historical importance, is available at this link.

Happy Shopping, and Merry Christmas.

The Mount Rushmore of Christmas sales.

2009-11-20T00:04:00.002-05:00

Avoid “Black Friday” at the big box stores like you would avoid The Black Death of 1348. Stay at home, watch football and eat delicious turkey sandwiches.

What about Christmas shopping? You can do it all right now, on-line, at Whiggy Tease. And like those silly big boxes, we are having insane sales to lure you in. In fact, you could call this next 48 Hour Sale the Mount Rushmore of Christmas sales.

We’re honoring the four Presidents on Mount Rushmore with a big sale on their Christmas tree ornaments. We’re all but giving the ornaments away. You’d be a fool – a damn fool – not to buy these ornaments today.

There’s George Washington…

Thomas Jefferson…

Teddy Roosevelt…

and of course, Abraham Lincoln…

But wait, there’s more.

That’s right, we’re also honoring a President who SHOULD be on Mount Rushmore, but isn’t. Yet…

Yes, we’ve reduced the price of our James K. Polk ornament, but only for the next 48 hours.

WHAT? What’s so great about James K. Polk? Are you mad?

Listen up. In four short years, he accomplished every goal. He seized the whole southwest from Mexico. Made sure the tariffs fell, and made the English sell the Oregon territory. He built an independent treasury! Having done all this, he sought no second term. But precious few have mourned the passing of Mr. James K. Polk, our eleventh president.

Of course, people will celebrate President Polk by purchasing his ornament and displaying it proudly on their Christmas tree. And when President Barack Obama issues a declaration mandating Polk’s inclusion on Mount Rushmore. Just you wait.

This sale must end Sunday.

While we don't quite get the History Channel's "World War II in HD," we are celebrating it.

2009-11-16T22:08:00.007-05:00

Whiggy Tease may not be rolling out new products this week, because we are very excited and distracted by the History Channel’s weeklong series, “World War II in HD.” We don’t quite get how the History Channel got footage of this epic struggle in high definition, but we assume it involved time travel. We here at Whiggy Tease love time travel.

We also love selling you swag, so here are some World War II era items you may want to order during the commercials.

Whiggy Tease has tons of Winston Churchill stuff to sell you. There’s our series of Churchill coasters, which is not one, not two, nor three, but four coasters large.

While British voters booted Churchill soon after WWII, they later came to their senses and put him back in. Churchill’s 1951 comeback campaign posters featured this logo…

… meaning, that was it. No words, no text, nothing. Just this logo. That’s all his campaign staff needed. It is, to us, the Coolest Campaign Logo Ever, so we celebrate it with t-shirts and a whole ton of other swag. It’s all available in the Winston Churchill store.

Please note that all aprons are NEW AND IMPROVED. They’re thicker, fancier, and come in three colors.

And of course, there are Christmas ornaments. We have ornaments for all the U.S. Presidents, so we of course have ornaments for the WWII Presidents, Franklin Roosevelt and Harry S. Truman. You can also buy your Dwight D. Eisenhower ornament as well.

But don’t think for a second that we stopped making ornaments when we ran out of Presidents. No sir. We have one for Churchill, and there’s a new one for Charles de Gaulle.

Buy now. Get your Christmas shopping out of the way.

The first Whiggy Tease 48 Hour Christmas Sale Extravaganza for Non-Morons.

2009-11-13T12:15:00.007-05:00

See these people? They’re lined up in the middle of the night outside some Wal-Mart for a lame Christmas sale. They’re cold, they’re exchanging germs, and some of them are probably going to get hurt. And for what? A cheap DVR player?

These people are morons.

You, however, are not a moron. That’s why you’re going to monitor this site daily for announcements of the latest Whiggy Tease 48 Hour Christmas Sale Extravaganza for Non-Morons.

We’ll have a bunch of these sales between now and Christmas. You can shop from home. No crowds, no cold, no germs, and nobody gets hurt. You don’t even have to get dressed.

Let us assure you, Whiggy Tease Nation, that we aren’t putting our crappy merchandise on sale. No sir. Our 48 Hour Christmas Sale Extravaganzas for Non-Morons will only feature our best and most popular items at prices so low, our accountant will be furious with us. But she’s not around right now, so let’s get started…

How do you like your coffee? Perhaps black and strong. You know, like you like your President?

Well then, you need the Barack Obama coffee mug, available in regular and large size. You like coffee? The President likes coffee! It’s a coffee mug you can believe in.

Perhaps you are a conservative. Well, we are putting our most popular item on sale…

Oh snap, we did not! Yes, we did! It’s our Ronald Reagan Christmas ornament. We’ve had customers buy twelve of these at a time. Seriously. And now we’ve lowered the price as low as we possibly can! How many will you buy?

And for historians, we are putting our most popular design on sale…

Yes, you can show that you opposed the evil Kansas-Nebraska Act with this shirt. Keep in mind we said the design was on sale. That’s right, every item in the Kansas-Nebraska shop is on sale, and that includes aprons, coasters, mouse pads and tote bags.

Merry Christmas Whiggy Tease Nation. Start shopping, as this sale ends on Sunday.

What about Thomas Jefferson?

2009-11-12T22:30:00.004-05:00

With much fanfare, Whiggy Tease the other night announced that you can buy a Christmas ornament featuring every single president of the United States from the Democratic Party. We also did the same for the GOP. We’ll play both sides. You’re money is good here.

The backlash, while polite, was immediate. Scott the Poet, Rocker and Gonzo Journalist from Chicago wanted to know why Thomas Jefferson was left off our list of Democrats.

Well, technically, Jefferson was a member of an outfit called the Democratic-Republican party. Sure, modern day Democrats claim him as one of their own. Get enough drinks in a Democrat and they’ll claim Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln too.

However, the point is moot. Why? Because, here at Whiggy Tease, we have Christmas ornaments featuring every single U.S. President, from George Washington to Barack Obama.
So, should we have Jefferson as a Democrat or not? Doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you buy one today. Click here to start shopping.

No, we do not have two different ornaments for James A. Garfield. Please stop asking.

Sarah Palin's book is coming out and you have nothing to wear.

2009-11-12T22:04:00.008-05:00

It seems Sarah Palin - the long lost granddaughter of Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush in drag, depending on your political views - has written a book and it comes out on Tuesday.

Perhaps you’re going to buy it. That’s fine, if you’re into that kind of thing. Many are, many aren’t. That’s not the point. The point is, if you are going to buy it, what are you going to wear?

You have nothing.

We here at Whiggy Tease can take care of that. Since our store opened in July, we’ve had an entire line of Sarah Palin swag on sale. www.cafepress.com/Whiggy_Tease/6768127
We have all sorts of shirts. Here’s just a sample…

Yes, it’s the famous Sarah Palin black, five inch high heel shoe with the rhinestone skull and cross bone design that she debuted at her 2008 campaign rally outside the Montgomery Inn in Mason, Ohio, we think.

If you’re new to the Whiggy Tease Nation, you know we are newly obsessed with coasters. So here ya go…

Also, if you’re going to buy Palin’s book, what are you going to carry it around in? That’s right…
But what about when you get home to read the book? You’re going to cozy up with a nice cup of coffee, or scotch or moose blood. Well, what are you going to pour it in?

Start shopping. Now, if you order today, will you have your Palin swag by early next week?

You betcha!

What every Democrat wants and needs for Christmas.

2009-11-10T22:09:00.007-05:00

You probably have a few Democrats on your Christmas shopping list. What are you going to get them? No, that’s lame. Sorry.

Let us tell you what you need to get the Democrats on your Christmas list. You need to get them a Presidential Christmas Ornament from Whiggy Tease – America’s Fastest Growing Store for all things celebrating American History and Politics.

They love progressives, and they love Christmas. So, they’ll really love one of our ornaments.

But which Democratic Presidential ornament should you buy? We have all of them. Click on the name to order!

Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren, James K. Polk, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.

Buy their favorite, or collect the entire set! And don't forget to buy some for yourself! After all, when was the last time you did something for YOU?

Click here for a link to the enitre Whiggy Tease Christmas Ornament collection. You may also want to shop around our other departments. Visit the Whiggy Tease store by clicking here.

Merry Christmas!

What every Republican wants and needs for Christmas.

2009-11-10T21:47:00.007-05:00

You probably have a few Republicans on your Christmas shopping list. What are you going to get them? No, that’s lame. Sorry.

Let us tell you what you need to get the Republicans on your Christmas list. You need to get them a Presidential Christmas Ornament from Whiggy Tease – America’s Fastest Growing Store for all things celebrating American History and Politics.

They love conservatives, and they love Christmas. So, they’ll really love one of our ornaments.
But which Republican ornament should you buy? We have all of them. Click on the name to order!

Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Garfield, Chester A. Arthur,
Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge,
Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George Bush and George W. Bush.

Buy their favorite, or collect the entire set! And don't forget to buy some for yourself! After all, when was the last time you did something for YOU?

Click here for a link to the Whiggy Tease Christmas Ornament collection. You may also want to shop around our other departments. Want to see what else we've got? Visit the Whiggy Tease store by clicking here.

Merry Christmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

2009-11-05T21:32:00.002-05:00

This picture really needs no caption. It certainly doesn’t even need an entire Infoblog post. But it will get one nonetheless.

Even though your pumpkin from Halloween has yet to completely rot, it is time for you to put up your Christmas tree. To be clear, it is time to put up your Christmas tree if you have received your Whiggy Tease Presidential Christmas Ornaments.

Look at this precious little girl. She loved her pumpkin. But she loves Christmas. And she loves President James K. Polk. When the two are combined, it’s even more magical. This doesn’t mean she loves her pumpkin any less. Not at all.

If you’ve ordered your Christmas ornament in the last week or so, you should be receiving your order any day now. And yes, that means the Whiggy Tease customer who ordered TWELVE Ronald Reagan ornaments – you’ll be getting your order soon.

But how about you? Have you ordered your ornaments yet? If not, get cracking. Shop now. There’s a sale going on through tomorrow. Click here to begin your shopping experience.

As for those of you who have your ornaments… what are you waiting for? Put up your Christmas tree right now.

Whiggy Tease Presidential Christmas ornaments now 25% off.

2009-11-03T21:06:00.007-05:00

Café Press, the official Whiggy Tease subcontractor, just announced that all Christmas ornaments are now 25% off through November 6th.

Do you know what this means? It means you can now afford even more of our Presidential Christmas tree ornaments! You can put all Republicans on your tree, or all Democrats. You can have an entire tree of one-term Presidents. Or all Whigs! The possibilities are limitless.

What is stopping you from ordering right now? Click here to start shopping.

If you don’t order right now, we here at Whiggy Tease can only come up with one of two conclusions. Either you hate America, or you hate Christmas.

We’re certain neither is the case. So shop now.

Holiday Scenario #1: The Secret Santa at Work.

2009-11-03T12:09:00.007-05:00

Many, many years ago, there was a little newspaper put out by a spunky little Downtown Business Association. To encourage downtown shopping, the newspaper ran something they called “Holiday Scenarios.” Whiggy Tease is not beyond stealing a good idea. Readers of this infoblog already know that.

Holiday Scenario #1: The Secret Santa at Work.

Doug is a government employee. His first Christmas in his new department is coming up, and he’s recently discovered that his new co-workers do a Secret Santa party every single year.

The clever type, Doug doesn’t want to buy $15 worth of lottery tickets and call it a day. Nobody really wants lottery tickets. Odds are, the recipient won’t have fun opening the present.

Whiskey is probably out of the question. And who wants a Christmas CD? There’s always a restaurant gift certificate, but if Doug buys it for a place on the West Side, and the person who gets his gift lives on the East Side, it’s not a good gift.

What gift could all of Doug’s co-workers enjoy? To answer that question, Doug has to ask and answer another question. “What do all of my co-workers have in common?”

The answer? In this crappy economy, they’re all subjected to unpaid furlough days.

The perfect Secret Santa gift for government employees is…

… the Whiggy Tease Happy #%@*! Day shirt.

Click here to read more about this popular Whiggy Tease item.

It’s also available in a lighter shade for the ladies.

Imagine the joy one of Doug’s co-workers will experience when he opens this gift. His co-workers will all but fight him or her for Doug’s gift. Or offer a bottle of whisky for it. And best of all, Doug’s boss will be sure to get a kick out of it. Doug will probably get a promotion in 2010.

Way to go, Doug. Thanks to you, and Whiggy Tease, this will be the Best Christmas Ever!

Raise your glass to Winston Churchill. Then, put it down on a coaster.

2009-10-30T12:17:00.007-04:00

Oh, how Whiggy Tease Nation loved the General Ulysses S. Grant coasters. They will indeed make great stocking stuffers.

However, the coasters did generate a few helpful comments. Basically, “Yeah, Grant liked to drink and fight. You know who else did? Winston Churchill.”

Indeed, chaps. Sir Winston Churchill did like his drink. He is worthy of a coaster set. So here you go.

First, we’ll start with his 1951 campaign logo…

Then, we’ll throw in a V for Victory…

An official looking portrait…

And this relaxed picture…

Stop putting your drinks on your nice coffee table. It’s going to leave a stain. There’s nothing classy about putting your high ball on your copy of Entertainment Weekly or The Economist. Buy your Churchill coasters today.

Department of Strategery, out. Office of Hope & Change, in.

2009-10-26T12:18:00.003-04:00

Everyone loved our George W. Bush Era “Department of Strategery” shirt and related swag. However, Bush has been out of office for nine months. It’s too old to be relevant, and too new to be retro.

Nikita, the Whiggy Tease Human Resources Director, models her “Department of Strategery” shirt in the lobby of the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters in Cleveland, Ohio. Every Friday is Wear Your Whiggy to Work day.

So we have something new. Something nice and non-cynical for the Obama administration. The Department of Strategery is out, and in its place is The Office of Hope & Change...

We have shirts, clothes for kids and babies, travel mugs and mouse pads. To shop, click here and scroll down.

It’s the perfect gift for the MSNBC watching, Public Option hoping, former Obama volunteer on your Christmas list.

Flu shots, Socialist mind control and microchips.

2009-10-22T22:27:00.004-04:00

We here at Whiggy Tease care about our employees. Whenever we can, we like to do something special for them. It helps to keep them from stealing.

So that’s why this morning, at great expense we might add, we arranged for every one of our employees in the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters to receive not only the regular flu shot, but the swing flu vaccine as well.

Everyone, we should say, except our Accountant.

“You boys aren’t going to poke me with those needles or stick anything up my nose,” pouted the Accountant, between puffs on her clove cigarettes. “I watch Glenn Beck.”

And?

“I can’t trust the government under Chairman Obama,” she said. “Save the quote-unquote medicine for the rest of your comrades. It’ll probably make them sick. Or, you know what I think?

“I think the ‘flu shot’ is some kind of socialist mind control drug.”

We keep the Accountant around because she’s good with the numbers. We for the most part don’t enjoy talking to her.

Oh, and she isn’t going to take the H1NI vaccine either.

“Are you nuts?” she asked. “That’s how the government installs the microchip.”

As part of her contract, all of the Accountant’s ideas become Whiggy Tease products. You enjoyed the I Hate Woodrow Wilson line, didn't you? Also, the Accountant gets to use the company basketball tickets six times a season.

Check out the Whiggy Tease Flu Season Swag in the “Ripped from the Headlines” department of the “Modern Politics” store.

"Send a case to the rest of my generals. And throw in some coasters."

2009-10-21T12:19:00.004-04:00

While folks like General George McClelllan hid in tents and had delusional fears about just how strong the rebel army was, others like Ulysses S. Grant went out and fought. President Abraham Lincoln liked that. He liked it so much that when others reported Grant was drinking again, Lincoln said something like “Find out what he’s drinking and send a case to the rest of my generals.”

You can relive this little moment in Civil War history with Whiggy Tease’s General Ulysses S. Grant Commemorative Coaster set. We have not one, not two, but three different coasters, and we’re willing to make more if you, our beloved customers, demand it.

These coasters are the perfect addition to the bar basement of any Civil War buff you know. They’d make a great Christmas gift for a history teacher, a history professor, or perhaps the history major on your list. Or maybe even for someone who just likes to watch the History Channel all day.

Lincoln may have thrown in some coasters for his generals. You never know.

"All the way with LBJ"

2009-10-19T22:05:00.004-04:00

Our focus groups told us they wanted more Lyndon Johnson swag. Sometimes we suspect our focus groups are just pulling our legs. But if they tell us they want something, we make it, and usually it sells big not only here in America, but in obscure little countries in Europe as well.

So we did some research on old LBJ campaigns, and the old political swag we enjoyed the most included the slogan “All the way with LBJ.” You can buy this replica 1964 2.25 inch campaign button…

… by clicking here.

It’s also available in a larger size at this link.

Know what we like about this button? We like that the design is versatile. By simply changing the red and blue colors to wine and gold…

… you get a completely new meaning which makes sense if you are a basketball fan in Cleveland, Ohio. Which we are. (This is okay, but we aren't crazy about it - Whiggy Tease Legal Department)

You can buy this button right now by clicking here. To super-size it, click here.

All of these buttons, needless to say, would make excellent stocking stuffers at Christmas time.

Whiggy Tease has your Halloween costume

2009-10-14T21:29:00.006-04:00

Once vacant stores in strip malls across America are currently filled, temporarily, with Halloween costume stores. Whiggy Tease, your favorite on-line shopping venue and the place where you will do most of your Christmas shopping, had a little vacant space as well. Our space is also now filled with a temporary Halloween store.

But unlike that store in your local strip mall, you won’t find a “Sexy Pirate” costume here. You will unable to buy a “Sexy French Maid” costume, a “Sexy Referee” costume or a “Sexy Bottle of Ketchup” costume.

Because here at Whiggy Tease, we deal with the historical and the timely. Oh, and we mostly only have the capacity to make t-shirts. So that’s what our Halloween store is all about.

Let us take you behind the curtain of our Whiggy Tease focus group on Halloween. It went something like this…

WHIGGY TEASE: So, what are you going to be for Halloween?

FOCUS GROUP PARTICIPANT: I think I’m going to be one of those silly tea baggers.

WHIGGY TEASE: Thank you for your time.

So our first Halloween costumes for 2009 will be Tea Party protester shirts. The first two shirts are based on actual signs from actual tea parties.

Here’s the sign…

… and here’s your shirt.

Wasn't that a hoot? Want more? How about this sign…

… and this shirt?
We can go on and on like this, but let’s see how these two sell first.

We’re also repackaging a shirt from Eric in Toledo, just in time for Halloween…

As far as we’re concerned, the shirt is subtle, it’s funny and it is certain to start a conversation at any party you happen to go to this year.

These shirts are available in our front window at www.cafepress.com/whiggy_tease. More shirts coming soon.

Your very own Nobel Peace Prize.

2009-10-10T22:53:00.006-04:00

The Whiggy Tease Emergency Cell Phone started buzzing with a text message at 6:01 AM on Friday. “Obama wins nobel peace prize! Yeah peace!”

“That was interesting, if not unexpected,” we thought. And our day began.

A few hours later, we turned on the Internet and learned that the right was in hysterics over this. And because the right was in hysterics, the left had to go get hysterical about the right being hysterical. By lunch, conservative friends were complaining that Reagan never won the award, and Glenn Beck was actually saying his tea bag friends should have won it.

Somewhere, Gandhi roles over in his grave. Hungry, and without a Nobel Peace Prize.

Meanwhile in the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters, we realize that we are so going to make some money off this. Er, we mean, this issue is of great interest to you, our beloved customers, so we must make some product for you.

And so we have. In fact, the same product can satisfy the Obama Lovers and the Obama Haters. They’re all in the “Ripped From the Headlines” store.

First, it’s technically a Nobel Peace Prize round Christmas Ornament. It’s an ornament, of course, only if you hang it on your Christmas Tree. But if you wear it around your neck, it’s your very own Nobel Peace Prize. Wear it to celebrate, or wear it to mock.

We also have buttons...

But wait, there’s more.

Perhaps you want to wear your Nobel Peace Prize on your shirt…

In addition, we have hoodies and jogging suits, plus a couple more items. We’ll make more variations on this theme, if that’s what you want.

In fact, more products are in development as we speak. Why? Because, we want to make our customers happy. Because happy customers are peaceful customers.

Maybe we’ll win the Nobel next year.

Today is his big day!

2009-10-09T12:51:00.006-04:00

By now, you all heard about the big news in the White House today, didn’t you?

No, not that. The other thing.

That’s right! Today is Bo the First Dog’s birthday!

Here at Whiggy Tease, we’re going to celebrate by going out for ice cream. Oh, and more importantly for you, we’re putting all of our Bo the Dog stuff on sale. Everything in Bo’s store is marked down as low as we can get it.

This means this is your best opportunity to buy a Bo dish (in one of two sizes)…

… and it’s the perfect time to buy this First Dog shirt…

Just look how happy it makes this kid.

You can even get a Bo the Dog shirt for your dog…

Happy Birthday, Bo the Dog!

Woodrow Wilson: History's Worst Monster?

2009-10-07T21:22:00.006-04:00

Once a week, all work comes to a halt at the Whiggy Tease World Headquarters when our local alternative paper hits the streets. If your alternative paper is anything like our alternative paper, and we suspect it is, it includes the popular alternative comic strip “This Modern World” by Tom Tomorrow.

Here is a link to Mr. Tomorrow’s latest effort.

The last panel reminded us of something we had blocked out.

Glenn Beck hates Woodrow Wilson as no other semi-rational American does. Beck probably does consider Wilson to be one of History’s Greatest Monsters, if he doesn’t consider him to actually be History’s Greatest Monster.

Which leads us to our latest Whiggy Tease item. Are you in the Target Audience for our latest product? Perhaps you let Glenn Beck do your thinking for you, and you do actually believe that Woodrow Wilson is History’s Greatest Monster. If so, you're in the Tartet Audience.

Or, perhaps you think Glenn Beck is nuts, and thus, the notion that Wilson is HGM is nuts to you – but you like to wear nutty and ironic t-shirts. If so, you too are in the Target Audience.

So, now that we’ve cast a net around 99% of all Americans…

… it’s our Woodrow Wilson: History’s Greatest Monster shirt.

It’s perfect for you, it’s perfect for your brother-in-law who loves Glenn Beck, it’s perfect for, frankly, just about everyone.

But wait, there’s more. We also have keepsake boxes, ceramic coasters, framed tiles, water bottles, hoodies for kids and much, much more.

It’s all available in the Woodrow Wilson store. Start shopping.

It's our Founder's Birthday - and you get the gifts!

2009-10-04T22:34:00.013-04:00

The Founder of Whiggy Tease is “celebrating” a birthday. Truth be told, he’s not fond of his birthday anymore, but there’s no reason why you can’t be fond of it, because Whiggy Tease is having a Founder’s Birthday Sale. We’re putting some of his favorite items on sale, so shop away.

For starters, there’s the popular Kansas-Nebraska Act shirt…

Next, there’s the Miss Malarky Ying Yang cat bowl, to celebrate Jimmy Carter’s kitty cat…

And before there was W the President, there was Q the President…

Then, there’s the actual logo used in Winston Churchill’s 1951 comeback campaign…

With Christmas coming up, you need a James K. Polk ornament…

One of our best sellers is the Hamilton-Burr Duel shirt…

We take a short break from the birthday celebration of our founder to mark what would have been the 94th birthday of our founder’s grandfather last Friday. He was 100% good and 100% Polish (the two quite often go together), and he wore a lot of Polish swag, so he would have enjoyed this Solidarity cap…

Let’s keep it in the family. Here’s an item designed by our founder’s five-year-old daughter. It’s the "I Love America" kids shirt…

Here’s an item that hits a little close to home. Happy Furlough Day to you too!

All of our “You Lie” historical coasters are on sale now, including this one…

Finally, here’s an issue that is of great importance to all of us here at Whiggy Tease, and we’re sure it’s of importance to you too...

Please, together, we can Stop Ethnic Cleansing in Fredonia. If we can do that, it would be the Best Birthday Present Ever.

Martin.

2009-10-03T14:24:00.005-04:00

It’s a little known fact that comedian/actor Martin Lawrence was named after Martin Van Buren, our eighth President. But it is indeed true.

This would of course explain the somewhat forced references to the Panic of 1837, the Aroostook War and the Caroline Affair in Lawrence’s 1990’s sitcom, “Martin.”

Today Whiggy Tease celebrates our two favorite Martins with our new Martin Van Buren swag…

“That’s clever,” you are now thinking. “Why, that’s especially clear.”

Yes, our Martin line was designed by occasional Whiggy Tease contributor, Eric in Toledo. That’s why it’s so clever. But, you did think the Christmas ornaments and dog dishes were clever, didn’t you?

In addition to the usual shirts, we are selling Martin bumper stickers and refrigerator magnets.

The Martin line is available at our Café Press home page. We’ll move it in a few days when the Martin Van Buren department opens up in the Historical Stuff store.

Our fellow Americans, start decorating your Christmas tree.

2009-09-28T21:16:00.008-04:00

It’s getting cold, at least here at Whiggy Tease World Headquarters. Perhaps it’s cold where you live. So you know what that means? Right?

Christmas!

Whiggy Tease is ready for Christmas. And once you find your valid credit card, you too can get ready for Christmas by buying a few of our Presidential Portrait Christmas Tree ornaments.
Yes, we have a James K. Polk Christmas ornament. But there are also plenty more where that came from.

You need a Whiggy Tease Presidential Portrait Christmas Tree ornament to make your tree complete. Buy an ornament of your favorite president. Perhaps you have a spouse? Buy an ornament with their favorite president. A kid or two or more? They too must be represented by their favorite president.

Perhaps you’re the partisan type. Perhaps you love the Republicans, so perhaps you should buy the entire collection of Republican presidents. Same if you’re a Democrat. Or a Whig.

Or say you’re running a major political organization, like say the Ohio Democratic Party or the South Carolina Republican Party. You’re going to have a Christmas tree in your office soon – decorate it with your party’s favorite presidents.

Let’s face it, Christmas brings up many gift buying problems. What to get that partisan blowhard on your wife’s side for Christmas? Or, where do you find a clever inexpensive gift to give a co-worker to fulfill the office gift exchange requirement? The answer to both questions? A Presidential Portrait Christmas Tree ornament!

Or say you’re celebrating 25 years of happy marriage. What better way to look back than by getting ornaments of all the Presidents who’ve served during your 25 years of marriage? It’s nostalgic, it’s romantic, it’s smart and classy – it’s what Whiggy Tease is all about.

As of this evening, we have ornaments for the following: Abraham Lincoln, Polk, Ronald Reagan, Barack Obama, Rutherford B. Hayes, Thomas Jefferson, Lyndon Johnson, Zachary Taylor, Warren G. Harding, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, Woodrow Wilson, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt, Millard Fillmore, William Howard Taft, Jimmy Carter, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, George W. Bush, Franklin Roosevelt, Andrew Johnson and Andrew Jackson. More are on the way. Please be patient, Gerald Ford fans.

What better way to teach your child about American history than through the series of Whiggy Tease Presidential Portrait Christmas Tree ornaments?

But wait, there’s more.

If you have some Brits on your Christmas list, there’s also a Margaret Thatcher ornament, plus a Tony Blair ornament. We’re working on the Winston Churchill, but don’t bother holding your breath for the John Major and certainly don’t count on ever seeing a Gordon Brown. Okay? Don’t get us started on Gordon Brown.

According to our friends at CafePress, these ornaments are made of “high quality porcelain.” Each one measurers 2.3” by 3.5” and includes a red ribbon for hanging. Each ornament is hand painted.*

Baby, it’s cold outside. But you can warm up, and start to get in the holiday mood, by buying some Christmas ornaments right now. Click here to start your shopping experience.

* Surely, you understand we made that last part up. Regardless, the ornaments are really nice.

Whiggy Tease goes to the dogs. And cats.

2009-09-21T20:29:00.010-04:00

By now, we’re certain you own, or have on Christmas Layaway, Whiggy Tease items for yourself, your significant other, your children, various relatives, friends and co-workers. Perhaps you’ve even purchased something for a frenemy or two.

But what about your pets? What does Whiggy Tease, America’s Favorite On-Line Store for Political and Historical Swag, have to offer your pet?

We’re glad you asked.

We’ve spent the weekend focus grouping a series of Presidential Pet Bowls. They scored 8.5 on the very complicated Whiggy Tease Ten Point Scoring System. Said one member of the focus group, “I think I’d consider it hilarious to watch my dog drink out of a replica of the personalized food dish used by the president’s dog.”

Our fellow Americans, let the hilarity begin.

There’s a bowl for the current first dog, Bo…

… please note the modern White House logo, and the fact that Bo’s name is in Democratic Blue.

There’s a Barney bowl, after President George W. Bush’s dog…

… you will note that not only is the dog’s name in Republican Red, the font used is “Elephant.” Do you understand how much work we here at Whiggy Tease put into these things?

Also on sale are bowls for Ike’s dog “Heidi,” Gerald Ford’s dog “Liberty,” and LBJ’s beagles “Him” and “Her.” Let us not forget Bill Clinton's chocolate lab, "Buddy."

“I don’t have a dog,” said the Whiggy Tease focus group participant.

Well, we have cat stuff. Yeah, there’s the Socks dish. But more importantly, there’s a dish for Jimmy Carter’s cat, Misty Malarky Ying Yang.

Yes. It seemed that President Carter not only solicited foreign policy advice from his daughter Amy, he also gave her complete control over the pet naming.

Before you ask, there is no “Checkers” dish yet, because right now we’re focusing on Presidential-level pets. Checkers never made it to the White House.

Our favorite dish in this soon-to-be expanding series is the Fala dish, in honor of FDR’s dog. Note the retro White House logo. Again, time + thought X hard work = quality.

You know, Checker’s had a speech, but frankly, we think it paled to FDR’s famous Fala Speech:

These Republican leaders have not been content with attacks on me, or my wife, or on my sons. No, not content with that, they now include my little dog, Fala. Well, of course, I don't resent attacks, and my family doesn't resent attacks, but Fala does resent them.

You know, Fala is Scotch, and being a Scottie, as soon as he learned that the Republican fiction writers in Congress and out had concocted a story that I had left him behind on the Aleutian Islands and had sent a destroyer back to find him - at a cost to the taxpayers of two or three, or eight or twenty million dollars- his Scotch soul was furious. He has not been the same dog since.

I am accustomed to hearing malicious falsehoods about myself - such as that old, worm-eaten chestnut that I have represented myself as indispensable. But I think I have a right to resent, to object to libelous statements about my dog.

Shop away, as the Presidential Pets department in the “Historical Stuff” store is now open. Bo the Dog has his own department in “Modern Politics,” but you knew that.

Brown out.

2009-09-21T12:11:00.005-04:00

Cleveland Browns coach Eric Mangini has a strange way of thinking. What we mean is he seems to be quite the idiot.

Tony Grossi of the Plain Dealer reported over the weekend on why Mangini is dressing the boys in hideous brown pants for all road games this year:

The Browns intend to wear brown pants and white jerseys on the road all season. Mangini said he decided on the radical look because he thought it looked good "and the guys felt the same way." Players also find the brown pants more comfortable and less restrictive because of the absence of a stripe down the legs.

"There was no bigger part to that decision," Mangini said.

So, what’s the excuse after Sunday’s loss?

We here at Whiggy Tease are certain the brown pants didn’t help them play better. We are also certain that the Pittsburgh Steelers, who wear the widest pants stripe in the NFL, are not held back by their uniforms, if recent Super Bowls are any indication.

Frankly, we reckon Mangini’s lethargic play calling is a tad more restrictive than any fashion decision. That, and his drawn out quarterback derby. It seemed like Brady Quinn could have used a few more reps with the first team in August, don’t you think?

But this is not a sports blog. It’s an info blog, and we’ve got product to push.

The anti-brown pants shirts are now on sale at a reduced price, as are the buttons.

And now that the Browns are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, we’ve lowered the price on the “Still Waiting in Cleveland” swag.

So, the Browns stink. We’re used to it. But if they’re going to stink, they might as well dress properly, like the old Browns of Otto Graham, Jim Brown and Bernie Kosar.

Instead of dressing like centaurs. Nobody likes centaurs.

All items are available by clicking right here.

Don't put that drink down! Use a coaster! From Whiggy Tease!

2009-09-16T22:19:00.009-04:00

We’ve heard you. You love the “You Lie/No, You Lie” series. Not only do you love it, your credit cards went through without a hitch.

So we want to give you more. We could simply slap “You Lie!” and “No, You Lie” on coffee mugs and onesies, but we sense you want something a little more clever.

That’s why we kept the Whiggy Tease Research & Development team hard at work coming up with our “You Lie” historical series of coasters.

Here’s how the thinking went. Most folks reckon that Joe Wilson shouldn’t have screamed “You Lie” at President Obama last week. It was rude, it wasn’t classy, and while we can differ about Obamacare, the President wasn’t actually lying in that particular line that prompted Wison’s scream.

However, there are many proclamations by Presidents that, in retrospect, could have been improved by someone screaming “You lie!”

For instance, as captured on our first coaster, is George W. Bush’s “yellow cake” line at his State of the Union address…

Note that the “You Lie” is in Democratic blue, and it’s coming from the Democratic side of the aisle. Probably from Dennis Kucinich, but you can pretend it’s from anyone.

Before you conservatives get all upset at your Whiggy Tease R&D team, may we offer this coaster?

Yes, it’s Bill Clinton’s famous finger-waving “I did not have nasty and kinky relations with that woman” statement. The “You Lie” is now in Republican red, but careful observers will note that the balloon seems to be pointing at the exact spot where then First Lady Hillary Clinton was standing.

Next, it’s the most famous convention speech lie that our R&D team could think of last night…

That’s right, it’s George Herbert Walker Bush asking you to read his lips, as they’re promising “No New Taxes.”

Next is Richard Nixon…

… telling you that the American people have the right to know whether or not their President is a crook. “Well,” he vowed, “I’m not a crook.” How did that turn out?

So, we could go on and on like that. But we chose not to.

Instead, we decided to explore inappropriate heckling at speeches where politicians were giving a nice, honest speech. How would history have been altered by someone screaming “You lie” at, say, the Gettysburg address…

Or, William Jenning Bryan’s “Cross of Gold” speech in 1896?
What about the Patrick Henry “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” speech in 1775?
Perhaps FDR’s “Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself” inaugural address?
You understand why these are on coasters, to be enjoyed by people drinking beer, right?

Finally, the favorite coaster of the Whiggy Tease team is of President Kennedy’s speech at the Berlin Wall…

… because he is being heckled in German.

Buy one, or buy the whole set of coasters. What’s important is that you buy right now. All of the coasters are available in our “Ripped from the Headlines” department of our “Modern Politics” store.

But what if you don’t have a bar in your basement? Or what if you don’t have friends over for coffee often? What need do you have for coasters, even coasters so insanely awesome as these?

Did we mention they’re TILE coasters? So, in theory, you could retile your bathroom with them, or perhaps spruce up the tile backsplash in your kitchen.

By the way, these coasters are dishwasher safe.

That’s not a lie.

Obama not the first to be heckled during speech to Congress? Whiggy Tease is on it.

2009-09-14T21:39:00.007-04:00

An alert Whiggy Tease fan in Chicago has alerted us to the fact that Joe Wilson is not the first to heckle a President during an address to Congress. He’s the first man, however.

That’s right. The ladies beat him to it by over 90 years.

According to an Associated Press story…

The most famous disruption of a presidential address in the House chamber occurred on Dec. 5, 1916, when woman protesters unfurled a yellow and black banner over the railing in the House galleries that read, "President Wilson, What Will You Do For Woman Suffrage?"

Although the women sat silently, their banner heckled the president. The president kept on reading his speech, but the banner diverted public attention and captured the headlines. The banner was eventually pulled down by a pageboy sitting on a staff member's shoulders.

“You need to Whiggy Tease this,” we were informed.

Consider ourselves informed. And consider your request granted…

Yes, it’s the first ever Whiggy Tease banner. 42inches long, it says exactly what the Wilson protesters said. You can take it the next time you go to see a speech in the U.S. House of Representatives.

Perhaps that doesn’t fit your budget or your lifestyle.

Okay, how about a poster?

Or better yet, a yard sign. Every fall, or every other fall, there’s an election where you live. Your neighbors will have signs up for the statewide casino issue, or the gay marriage proposal, or some candidate for city council. Shake things up on your street by planting this sign in your front yard.

Our profit margin on the yard sign is only $1, because we are very amused by the thought of your neighbor driving by this sign and trying to figure it out.

Of course, here at Whiggy Tease, we like to dance with the girl we took to the dance. Meaning, t-shirts are our business, so let’s stick with what works…

So there you go. More swag on the YOU LIE theme tomorrow, and probably the day after that, until we beat this horse to death.

To buy these items, go to www.cafepress.com/whiggy_tease and scroll all the way to the bottom, past all the YOU LIE and NO, YOU LIE swag.

We're not lying - there's more!

2009-09-11T22:00:00.006-04:00

Whiggy Tease Nation, we hear you.

You bought up a bunch of the “You Lie” swag, and even more of you purchased “No, You Lie” items. Y’all bought shirts and buttons.

Then, strangely, you started to demand tote bags. So we gave you tote bags. You bought them, with rush delivery.

So, tonight, we are giving you more of what you want. No lie.

First, we’ve taken the time to make those wee-little buttons in both the “You Lie” and “No, You Lie” styles.

Next, we’ve taken the new wee-little buttons, and with the medium and larger 2 ¼ inch buttons and the 3 ½ inch buttons, they’re now available in packs of 100. It’s perfect for, say, the Bowling Green State University College Democrats, or the University of Georgia College Republicans, or all of your friends on the Facebook.

But after you buy the buttons and the shirts and the tote bags, what then? Christmas ornaments?

No.

Don’t be stupid.

Here’s what is next.

It’s a pack of eight Barack Obama post cards, with his official Presidential portrait.

But take a closer look.

Oh yeah, POTUS is fighting back with a “No, You Lie” button of his very own. You Obama Backers can send these to your progressive friends to cheer them on. Or, you can send them to your conservative friends to piss them off.

Or, you can send one to Congressman Joe Wilson.

All items available now by clicking here and scrolling down just a bit.

You lie! No, you lie! But we all buy!

2009-09-10T12:19:00.005-04:00

Really?

Is this what political discourse in our country has come down to?

We thought it was bad enough when town hall meetings turned into screaming matches? But now we have members of Congress yelling during Presidential addresses? Has it come to this, at long last? Political debate in our proud country is down to “You Lie!” versus “No, You Lie!”

Okay, just wanted to be sure.

Yes, the “You Lie!” shirt is available at the Whiggy Tease store. There’s a style for ladies, plus buttons. Don’t be fooled by cheap crap that came out late last night. The Whiggy Tease stuff is nicer.

Note that it’s in Republican Red, and it kind of has that Vote Pedro look to it.

But what if you’re a Democrat? Oh, we’ve got you covered there too…

Shop away, our fellow Americans.

"Whip Inflation Now" with Whiggy Tease.

2009-09-08T19:59:00.006-04:00

“This is unbelievably stupid.”

That was the thought, allegedly, of Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan when presented with the idea by Gerald Ford’s administration to start a grassroots movement to combat inflation, led by little red WIN buttons. WIN of course stood for “Whip Inflation Now.”

President Ford launched the WIN campaign on October 9, 1974. Yes, it’s been 35 years. It’s been 35 years since Ford declared inflation as “public enemy number one.” The Communists must have been pleased by this.

It’s been 35 years since Ford asked Americans to send him a list of ten inflation-reducing ideas. This must have struck a nerve with a young David Letterman.

But most importantly, it’s been 35 years since Gerald Ford decided to combat a major economic problem with thousands of little red buttons. While once in great supply, most buttons are now lost, or are selling on e-Bay for hundreds of dollars.

That’s where Whiggy Tease comes in.

Yes, it’s our Whip Inflation Now knock off, er, replica buttons. They look exactly like the real thing.

Whiggy Tease Nation, we’re not back on the Gerald Ford kick. We’re still on it.

Impress your Republican friends by proudly displaying your WIN button at their next function. Nothing says “Old School Republican” like a WIN button. Impress your friends who went to Michigan as well.

Not a Republican? Not a Gerald Ford fan? Or perhaps you root for Ohio State or Notre Dame?
Well, you can do what skeptics did back in the day and wear your button upside down. It’s not just the International Distress Signal…

… as you can see, WIN upside down is NIM, which could stand for “Need Immediate Money.”
Or “No Immediate Miracles,” or perhaps “Nonstop Inflation Merry-Go-Round.”

Like we said, original WIN buttons are going for hundreds on e-Bay. So, by buying a replica from Whiggy Tease, you will in fact be, yes, whipping inflation.

Buy. Buy Now right here.

Hail, hail Whiggy Tease.

2009-09-06T15:37:00.008-04:00

As we were reminded in our last info-blog post, Watergate didn’t seem to bother Gerald Ford all that much. We’re coming up on the anniversary of his speech pardoning Nixon, you know?

This got us thinking about current events. Ford’s alma mater, the University of Michigan, has been in the news recently regarding allegations that their new football coach makes the boys practice more than what the NCAA allows.

What would Gerald Ford have to say about this if he were still alive? Well, we reckon he’d be quite forgiving. He’d say something like, “it’s only football,” or “everyone does it,” or perhaps “boys will be boys.”

Or, perhaps he’d say “Practice makes perfect.”

Yes, just in time for the Michigan vs. Notre Dame game, it’s Whiggy Tease’s latest Gerald Ford item. Ford, in his glory days as an All-American center for the Maize and Blue with the slogan “Practice Makes “Perfect” in something pretty close to the official Michigan font, but not close enough to upset our legal team.

If you order by Tuesday morning, you can have it in time for Saturday’s big game. This item, like all our Ford items, is available in our Gerald Ford store.

But wait, there’s more.

In addition to t-shirts and tank tops, we also have tote bags…

Messenger bags…

And coasters, for your post game celebration. ..

Buy in the next couple of days and you'll have your swag in time for Saturday's big game. While you are at it, forward this link to every Michigan fan you know.

Does your conscience bother you? TELL THE TRUTH!

2009-09-06T01:31:00.002-04:00

Do you know why Tuesday is important?

Tuesday, Whiggy Tease Nation, is September 8th – the anniversary of the day that President Gerald Ford addressed our nation to tell us that he was giving Richard Nixon an unconditional pardon.

Most of the nation screamed with agony during the speech, thus missing what we feel was the most critical passage of the address. Ford told the nation flat out that “Watergate does not bother me.”

Then Ford changed his tone to a questioning, almost accusatory one. “Does your conscience bother you?” he asked/challenged his fellow Americans.

The few who were done screaming over the pardon then probably screamed anew, but this time, “No, idiot, my conscience does not bother me.”

To which Ford challenged us again. “Tell the truth,” he insisted.

It was almost lyrical. That's why we had to make a shirt about it.

Truth be told, this shirt is one of our favorites in the entire Whiggy Tease line. You should buy it today.

Obama to give speech to American students. This is a.) good, b.) or bad, and c.) needs swag.

2009-09-03T22:21:00.005-04:00

On Tuesday, the President of the United States is scheduled to give a short speech to students in American schools.

What is the speech all about?

In the address, President Barack Obama will welcome students back to school and encourage them to study hard because education is important.

You would believe that, if you were a godless Socialist intent on ruining America.

You see, Obama’s speech will evidently be about the indoctrination of your children. Students will be taught the evil of coal burning industrial plants, the SUV you drove them to school in, and the traditional values you tried so hard to instill in them.

Oh, you would believe that, if you were one of those right-wing tea bagging nut jobs who lets Glenn Beck do your thinking for you. You candidate lost last year, so, just suck it up.

What does Whiggy Tease believe? We’ll tell you what Whiggy Tease believes. Whiggy Tease believes it’s time for you to get your credit cards out, because we’ve got some merchandise for you.

First, for you folks who believe that not only is the President’s speech a wonderful idea, but your kids need a special shirt just for it, we proudly present the following…

Ahh. That’s cute isn’t it?

Now, if believe this speech is just another step in Obama’s Sinister Plan, well, we’ve got a shirt for you as well…

(If you have trouble reading the small print, it says "'You must learn to obey... You don't want Grandma to talk to the Death Panel, do you?'")

Order right now, and you might get your swag by Tuesday. Click here to start your shopping experience.

All dressed up and nowhere to go. Happy Furlough Day!

2009-08-31T22:48:00.002-04:00

It’s better than layoffs. It’s better than layoffs.

When you know you’re going to work tomorrow, perhaps you like to put out your clothes the night before. You’ll take the time to pick out something sharp. Or at least something that comes close to matching and isn’t all that wrinkled.

But what do you do when the sucky economy… or other factors… means that tomorrow you aren’t going to work because you have a furlough day? What the hell are you going to wear then?

For those who don’t work for the government or the private sector, a furlough day is a day you don’t have to go to work (whooo), but you aren’t getting paid (boooo).

So, it’s not like an earned vacation day, where you have the money to go out and have some real fun. Sure, it ain’t unemployment – but it ain’t fun. It’s kind of like Temporary Purgatory.

Let’s return to the original question. It’s your furlough day – what are you going to wear?

Whiggy Tease feels your pain. We hear your question, and here is our answer…

Yes. It’s the official Whiggy Tease Furlough Day line. Buy it now in our Misc. Nonsense store, and wear it every time you have a furlough day.

Say you’re home on a Monday. The Nosy Retired Neighbor Next Door will wonder why you’re home on a Monday, doing something peculiar like cutting the lawn at 7 AM. The shirt gives him the answer – you’re not unemployed, you’re not on vacation, you have a furlough day.

The red type warns him to stay away. The cartoony bad word replacement makes it crystal clear that you don’t think a furlough day is a good thing. Despite the word “happy” on the shirt.

Now, we suggested there is a “line” of furlough wear. That’s an exaggeration. This item only comes in one color – bright yellow. The color of caution. After you wear it a few times, folks will recognize it just from the bright yellow color.

Wear it while you’re cutting your lawn. Wear it when you’re grocery shopping at 10 AM, or seeing a weekday matinee of “Jennifer’s Body.”

Or wear it to your favorite watering hole. Your beloved bar probably opens earlier than you think. You wouldn’t know, of course, because you’re usually at work.

It’s better than layoffs. It’s better than layoffs.

There’s no place like home.

We didn't become Internet Millionaires without listening to our customers.

2009-08-31T22:05:00.006-04:00

There are several things we aren’t wild about hearing before we’ve had our third cup of coffee in the morning. “Do you smell something burning?” is one of them.

“No, I don’t have the baby. I thought YOU had the baby,” is another good one.

But following closely behind is “I need to talk to you urgently.”

That’s what your Whiggy Tease founder heard early this morning. It was followed by the phrase, “We have an idea for a shirt.”

It was followed by the more important, “Design it and we’ll buy it.”

Look, we didn’t become Internet Millionaires without listening to our customers.

The customer’s idea was based on something she saw in a bar. Or on a bus, or maybe it was something she had a dream about. Again, we hadn’t had our third cup of coffee yet. Anyway, the t-shirt saying was “Save the Earth! It’s the only planet with chocolate.”

Clever.

We like it because it’s a hippy message with a bait and switch. You expect “Save the Earth” to be followed with something about recycling. Or composting. Or cap and trade, or loving each other. But “it’s the only planet with chocolate” is clever and unexpected, and it appeals to chocoholics which is a market that Whiggy Tease is yet to tap into.

Until, of course, our Chocolate William Howard Tafts come out in April.

So, here it is, on sale now in the Display Window of “Misc. Nonsense.”

This led to follow up conversations. “I know! ‘It’s the only planet with bacon.’”

I know this to not be true, but I know a lot of people who like bacon, so …

This leads to the next one, and there certainly is an audience for it...

We might do one that says “football,” but we’ll save that for another day.

Or what about this? “Save the Earth! It’s the only planet with coffee.”

Michael McDonald does not control our sales plan.

2009-08-26T20:03:00.003-04:00

If the smell of clove cigarettes wasn’t distinctive enough, the click-click of stiletto heels against cold marble was a dead giveaway. It was The Accountant, marching towards our office.

Click-click, past Human Resources at our Whiggy Tease World Headquarters. Click-click past the Focus Group room, and click-click past Research & Development. The clicking was getting faster, and that could only mean The Accountant was mad, as she usually is.

“You boys aren’t aware of what time it is,” she rasped. “I’ll tell you what freaking time it is.

“It’s Christmas time.”

According to The Accountant, last night on QVC, Michael McDonald was pitching his new Christmas album. “If Michael McDonald is ready for Christmas, why the hell aren’t we?”

Here’s the thing, and now we’re addressing not only our accountant but the entire Whiggy Tease Nation… we are ready.

Whiggy Tease has been planning for Christmas since June. We have our line of Christmas items all ready to go. But we’re going to roll them out on our schedule, not Michael McDonald’s schedule.

If Bob Seeger was out working on his Christmas moves, that’d be one thing. But he’s not. Trust us.

Look, our Christmas line is coming. Soon. But not until Labor Day. Stay cool, real cool, save your money and we’ll deal with a Whiggy Tease Christmas at the proper time.

James Traficant is getting out of prison and you have nothing to wear.

2009-08-19T21:59:00.004-04:00

On September 2nd, James Traficant is getting out of prison. And you have nothing to wear.

If you’re a Traficant fan living in the Mahoning Valley, or for that matter any place on Earth, you’ll want to dress up for James Traficant Freedom Day.

Have we got the item for you…

Sure, there are other t-shirts out there you can buy. They’re nice enough, we guess. But if you want to look sharp for Jimbo’s Big Day, you’ll want something special. The Whiggy Tease line appeals to Traficant’s love of Star Trek.

And notice the loving detail that went into this item. At first glance, it might just look like a silhouette of a man, but if you look closer at the guy’s hair, you’ll notice that it is unmistakably James Traficant.

There are shirts available, in all sizes. There are also mouse pads, posters, water bottles and travel mugs. In fact, we're so confident you'll love this Traficant design that we're slapping it on products we don't even understand.

But you need to shop right now in the Free James Traficant store. Because this line will be discontinued on September 3rd.

THE swag marked down for back to school, first football game, homecoming, etc.

2009-08-18T16:15:00.000-04:00

There’s a lovely enough school in Columbus that used to be known as Ohio State University. For the last decade or so, they’ve taken to calling themselves The Ohio State University.

There’s an even better school in Northwest Ohio that up until very recently has been known as Bowling Green State University. But if the Buckeyes can have a “The,” we here at Whiggy Tease reckon the home of the Fighting Falcons should have one as well.

So, from now on, it’s The Bowling Green State University.

As you may know by now, there is “official” the swag – t-shirts, clocks, buttons, undergarments, etc. We’ve also added some brand new merchandise. But you may not know, it’s all on sale right now. Click here to go directly to THE merchandise center at the Whiggy Tease store at CafePress.

One of the many THE items, as modeled by our Lovely Spokesmodel.

It’s on sale to celebrate the start of The Bowling Green State University’s fall semester. It’s on sale so you can wear it to the first home football game, or homecoming, or for your first visit to Ground for Thought or Howard’s Club H.

Or, all you alumni can just wear it around wherever it is you live now.

This sale can’t last. We here at Whiggy Tease can’t sell forever at these prices. So buy now.

You can fight fashion. Join the anti-brown pants movement now.

2009-08-15T19:14:00.000-04:00

Here’s a little something for you Cleveland Browns fans. The rest of you can just shop in the “Historical Stuff” section until this blows over...

The Eric Mangini Era for the Cleveland Browns has gotten off to an ugly start.

Yes, tonight in Land of Unfermented Cheese, the Browns are wearing those hideous brown pants again. They’re not only ugly, but last year they were proven to cause serious injuries to our players. Just as bad, they go against the proud (well, mostly proud) history of the Cleveland Browns.

The Browns should be in white pants with the traditional orange and brown piping, period.

“Oh well,” you say. “What can you do?”

Oh, we’ll tell you what you can do. You can fight fashion… with more fashion.

Yes, it’s the Whiggy Tease line of NO BROWN PANTS swag. There are shirts (here's just one example) …

There are buttons…

And there are stickers…

Buy now, and wear them non-stop until the Browns come to their fashion senses.

While you’re shopping in the "Misc. Nonsense" section where we put all the sports stuff, you might want to pick up one of our THE WAITING IS THE HARDEST PART items…

Yes, get the pain out of your heart and on to your chest where everyone can see it.

Despite the ugly pants... Go Browns! And start shopping.

The Manifest Destiny of Whiggy Tease? More Polk swag!

2009-08-10T22:55:00.006-04:00

We here at Whiggy Tease want to give you, our beloved customers, what you want. We also want to give you what your children want. Turns out, your kids want James K. Polk swag.

Who knew?

Not us, at least not right away. But we know now.

How popular was our initial line of James K. Polk stuff? So popular that there are kids who are planning on wearing their Polk stuff on the first day of kindergarten. This is very much true. It’s the most important day of their young life, and they want to dress in Whiggy Tease’s Polk clothing.

This Polk line is money. Well, actually the newly expanded James K. Polk line is money…

Yes, James K. Polk has his own dollar coin this year. We love the gold dollar coins with the Presidents, your kids love James K. Polk – this is clearly a match made in heaven. Visit the Polk store for all the new items. Here’s just a small sample of what you’ll find there:

The Polk baby one-piece…

The Polk yellow shirt…

Now, what if your kid has one of the old Polk shirts and you think it would be silly to get him or her another one?

Well, you can get your kid a Polk button…

Or, imagine this. Your kid has a birthday party coming up, and you’re not sure what to put in the goody bag. Well, the Polk button comes in packs of 10 or even 100. Send all the kids home with Polk buttons.

Your kid will be learning to tell time soon, right? Or maybe he already knows to tell time. Well, he needs a clock…

Yes, James K. Polk can teach your child how to tell time. We bet he can do it in just one term.

But wait, there’s more.

That’s right. It’s the James K. Polk Dollar Coin Christmas Tree Ornament.

Operators are standing by.

Now you'll have something to wear!

2009-08-06T23:38:00.005-04:00

Squeaky Fromme is getting out of prison next week, and you have nothing to wear.

Until now.

Over lunch, your Whiggy Tease founders heard Squeaky Fromme, the insane and incompetent attempted assassin of President Gerald Ford, was getting out of prison next week. In most people, this news prompted a “hmmm” or perhaps a “wonder if that’s a good idea.”

At Whiggy Tease, it made us think about you and your needs. Your need to wear some Squeaky tees next week. Our need for you to buy such swag from us at a reasonable price.

So, the first Nelson Mandela inspired item looks like this…

Now, perhaps you have doubts about Bill Clinton’s negotiated release of Ms. Fromme. Perhaps you’d like to wear something like this…

What could possibly go wrong, indeed?

Or, perhaps your analysis of the Fromme situation is at a higher level…

We don’t know if we should display our Fromme stuff in Aisle One or in the Gerald Ford store or maybe somewhere else. So, for now, we’re putting it in the display window at the Whiggy Tease site. Go there now.

Buy now, and tell your friends. If you order in the next few days, you’ll have your shirt for Squeaky’s big day.

And you’ll also have it for the First Day of School.

If you’re no longer in school and are actually a parent, you can wear it to the first Parent-Teacher Conference.

Q the President

2009-08-04T22:21:00.000-04:00

We’re thinking of a President. His dad was President first. This President’s dad had a tough act to follow in the White House. Dad wasn’t helped by his tendency to be elitist, but he was often assisted by his popular wife.

The President we're thinking about ran for office to either follow in his father's footsteps... or to avenge dad's re-election loss. Depends on who you ask, we guess.

The President we’re thinking about had the same first name as his dad. He became President after a very, very controversial election.

Now, most people would reckon that we’re talking about this guy…

… but we are not. Since you are reading Whiggy Tease, you’re smart enough to know we’re talking about this guy…

Yes, it’s the John Quincy Adams line. Or, “Q – The President” for short. We’ve reproduced some vintage Q swag, and it’s on sale right now.

You’ll notice W stole his 2004 logo from Q's re-election campaign. That Karl Rove, he’s clever.

Q’s dad of course was John Adams, who had to follow George Washington. Adams was a bit elitists, but everyone loved Abby. And if you think the 2000 election was controversial, the 1828 one was perhaps even more so.

This line is just for starters. Bumper stickers and posters are coming soon.

THE World Premier of THE first Whiggy Tease commercial on YouTube.

2009-08-03T21:14:00.003-04:00

Whiggy Tease sales are through the roof. We can hardly keep the inventory in stock. Let’s not beat around the bush, we’re going to be filthy rich. If this was an episode of “Behind the Music,” we’d still be at the Rising Star segment, but after the commercial, things are going to get out of control.

We think what you are about to see is the next step to fame and fortune.

Yes, we have a commercial. While our current profits are huge, we want much more. So we’re advertising. Our Whiggy Tease Spokesmodel was available for a shoot this weekend, so we flew her to the campus of The Bowling Green State University to film a spot for one of our most popular lines.

Here’s a refresher/explanation if you need it.

So, ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that we present to you, the World Premier of the first Whiggy Tease commercial on YouTube.

There’s more where that came from…

The Whiggy Tease three-day fundraiser to fight breast cancer.

2009-07-31T12:08:00.007-04:00

Buying a Whiggy Tease product this weekend could result in the cure for breast cancer.

Are we over-hyping our product? Maybe, maybe not. This weekend Cleveland is host to The Breast Cancer 3 Day, benefiting Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

The little sister of the Whiggy Tease founder is participating in the 3 Day, walking 20 miles a day around Cleveland. She raised over $3,000 to participate in the event.

The least we can do here at Whiggy Tease is sell some t-shirts to help out.

So here’s what we’ve done. We’ve jacked up the price on all our stuff for three days. It’s still reasonable, but it’s a bit more expensive. 100% of the profits from our three day fundraiser will go to the Breast Cancer 3 Day. So, not only can you finally get some hip clothes, but you’ll be fighting breast cancer.

Whiggy Tease, for those of you visiting the first time, is your on-line store for fun political shirts and swag, appealing to both liberals and conservatives. We also feature an impressive line of historical items. Finally, we also venture off into some goofy stuff. So, shop for yourself or shop for a friend – but shop to help fight breast cancer.

But wait, there’s more.

Our favorite item here at Whiggy Tease is the yellow Kansas-Nebraska Act shirt. In honor of the sixty miles each participant in the 3 Day will walk this weekend, we’ve priced this shirt at $60.

Expensive? Sure. But it’s a cheap price to pay to fight breast cancer. And to look cool.

The giveaway of Cliff Lee triggers a sale at Whiggy Tease

2009-07-29T16:19:00.007-04:00

If there’s a special someone in your life who is a Cleveland sports fan, that person is in a foul mood today. They probably have a sour look. So why not cheer him or her up with a gift from Whiggy Tease?

Today the Cleveland Indians traded their best player for some fellows who are not only young and inexperienced but hurt as well! Best case scenario? The Tribe will be ready to contend again in 2015.

Your loved one needs a gift from Whiggy Tease.

It’s our all-purpose shirt for the Cleveland sports fan. Tell them not to keep their frustration bottled up inside when they could instead wear it across their chest.

Prices on this premium Whiggy Tease item has now been reduced. So get while the getting is good. We can’t sell at these prices forever. Enter the store here.

Don't blame us, we voted for Pigasus.

2009-07-23T12:19:00.006-04:00

Most Americans in 1968 thought they had two choices for President in 1968. There was Richard Nixon, and you knew he would eventually be trouble. Hubert H. Humphrey was the other option – but would he really be any better than Lyndon Johnson?

There was a third option. An option that most people have forgotten about. Pigasus – the nominee of the Young International Party (the Yippies).

Jerry Rubin, Abbie Hoffman and others announced the nomination of Pigasus during the protests at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. Needless to say, the police were not amused.

Pigasus was arrested. We swear to you this is true. Whether or not Pigasus was granted his one phone call is not clear to us at this time, but we’ll get back to you.

Celebrate the Pigasus ’68 campaign with these exciting items from Whiggy Tease.

Get your credit cards ready. We’re sure you’ll squeal with delight when your items from the Pigasus ’68 store arrive in your mailbox.

Thanks to Eric in Toledo for another genius idea.

Nixon '84: He's earned a fifth term.

2009-07-20T08:03:00.000-04:00

We like the suggestion by some much more clever and rich than us that if things would have lined up in a certain way, Richard Nixon could have gotten a certain pesky amendment removed from the constitution and won re-election in 1976, 1980 and again in 1984.

So we’ve designed a Whiggy Tease line around the idea. Shop until you drop.

As always with Whiggy Tease, the subtlety is the difference. In the Nixon ’84 logo, he’s not flashing his traditional V for Victory sign. Instead, he’s holding up a total of five fingers, to promote his quest for an unprecedented fifth term.

The Winston Churchill Comeback Tour

2009-07-19T11:01:00.007-04:00

In honor of The British Open, or what we guess is now being called The Open , Whiggy Tease is proud to announce we’re pandering to our British fans by announcing the first product in our Winston Churchill line.

Before we get to that – did you notice The Open is now using the Obama Font? It’s as if everyone has the Obama Font except us at Whiggy Tease.

Anyway, it may come as a shock to those who are not students of history, but after helping lead the Allies to victory in World War II, Churchill was rewarded by being booted from office.

However, voters came to their senses and returned him to Number 10 Downing Street in 1951.

Here’s what we like about Churchill’s campaign in 1951. His initial campaign swag featured no words. It didn’t have clutter like “Return Churchill” or “Tories 1951” or “Don’t Call it a Comeback.” Instead, it featured a simple blue silhouette of Churchill. That’s all he needed. One of the most quotable men of his century didn’t need any words to get his point across.

We’ve reproduced the logo for shirts for the fellas…

Shirts for the ladies…

And for Tom Watson…

We here at Whiggy Tease are not giving up. We will never give up. We know you’ll shop in our new Churchill store. Come back soon for more swag.

The Malaise Shirt.

2009-07-17T11:59:00.005-04:00

After the success of the Checkers shirt and the Nixon Pardon Speech shirt, Whiggy Tease Nation breathlessly awaited the next TV speech item to hit their favorite on-line store. Will it be Eisenhower “Military Industrial Complex” speech? Or maybe Al Gore’s sloppy kiss at the 2000 convention?

No. We would never lie to you. It’s time for Jimmy Carter.

“Ooh, you mean the Cardigan Sweater speech?”

No, we’re saving that for the winter. It’s all about timing. See, that is why we are millionaire businessmen and you are not.

Today, we’re rolling out a shirt celebrating the 20th Anniversary of The Malaise Speech. Here it is…

It’s the perfect gift for your friends who are still mad at Jimmy Carter. Do you like it? Did you notice it’s on a 1970’s television set? See, that is the Attention to Detail that you would expect at Whiggy Tease.

Of course, there’s one problem. Carter never actually used the word “malaise” in his speech.

It kind of reminds us of the scene from The Fugitive. Tommy Lee Jones spends two hours of the movie chasing Harrison Ford around. Trapped, Ford says to him “I didn’t kill my wife,” to which Jones replies “I don’t care.”

That’s basically what American told Carter on Election Day in 1980.

Carter’s campaign didn’t adequately address the Malaise Issue, but if they had offered a rebuttal, it probably would have looked like this…

Yes, Carter had a campaign poster that looked pretty much like this. Same color, same inspiring photograph, similar late 70’s/early 80’s font. Again, it’s the Attention to Detail.

We don’t have a crisis of confidence. We here at Whiggy Tease Planet Headquarters are confident you’ll drop a bundle in our newly opened Jimmy Carter Store.

What to wear to the high school reunion.

2009-07-15T12:15:00.004-04:00

It all started, as these things tend to do, with a little joke.

My Twenty Year High School Reunion was coming up, and I jokingly suggested on the Facebook that the theme of the reunion should be “From Kittens to Cougars.” As most of my status updates on Facebook are, I expected this comment to be ignored.

But the comments started rolling in.

“LOL.”

“ROFL.”

“PMPL.”

The comments evolved into a discussion. “Dude,” my fellow classmates said, “you should make t-shirts.” People even threatened to buy them.

Not knowing anything about selling t-shirts for a profit, I laughed and went on with my life. This was a few months ago.

Fast forward to today, and I find myself running a “wildly successful” t-shirt business called Whiggy Tease. It deals mostly with political and history stuff, but sometimes it wanders off topic. I’m on my way to earning my first million, you know.

So, the refrain began again. “Dude,” they sang, “you should make ‘From Kittens to Cougars’ shirts for the reunion.”

There’s only so much high school related peer pressure that one person can take, so…

Here it is. The unofficial theme of the Solon High Class of 1989 Twenty Year reunion has a shirt. A whole line of shirts, actually.

I have a semi-serious commitment from a classmate to buy one. If she, or anyone, orders it before this Saturday, they’ll get it in time for reunion weekend. Perhaps it’s not formal enough to wear to the big event on Saturday 7/25, but it’s good enough to wear to the bowling alley event the eve of the reunion, don’t ya think?

So we’ll see how this goes. Perhaps I’ll start making shirts for other high school reunions. You know Chagrin Falls is up for it. Maybe I’ll even start doing this for big high schools across the country.

Maybe I'll be a millionaire by our 35th year reunion.

Fat. Phat. Fatt.

2009-07-13T21:21:00.005-04:00

As the sun rose on Whiggy Tease Nation this morning, many of you awoke and asked the following question: What the hell is this new Whiggy product line about?

Let us tell you.

In doing research on the U.S. Presidential election of 1908 – because nothing sells more than Decision 1908 swag – we came upon not once but twice a banner advertising something called the “Dayton Ohio Fatt Men’s Taft Club.”

Of course, we were delighted. So delighted, in fact, we designed an entire line around the banner design. What you see is basically what the banner looked like.

The Fatt Men's Taft Club - it’s so strange and awesome on different levels.

First is the spelling of FATT. It’s not the 1908 version of the 2005 word “PHAT.” A little research shows that it is an anagram of TAFT. Which in convenient, as President William Howard Taft was quite big. This only would have worked better if his last name would have been Seebo, you know what we’re saying?

Or Bardtfoul.

Perhaps even more awesome is the willingness of Taft’s supporters to make fun of their candidate’s girth while making fun of their own. You don’t see that in today’s politics. We mean, there is no “Springfield Illinois Men Incapable of Speaking without a Teleprompter Obama Club,” nor is there an “Eagle River Alaska Women who Love Stripper Shoes Palin Club.”

We’re not suggesting there should be, mind you.

We are suggesting that you get your credit cards out and start shopping, because you want to look nice on your first day of school. Plus, we want to be millionaires, as we have plans for the money already.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part.

2009-07-13T12:13:00.003-04:00

Whiggy Tease is mostly about the history and the politics, but sometimes we wander into Misc. Nonsense either to pay the bills or amuse ourselves. So, having said that, here’s a little something for our sports fans friends in Cleveland:

Anyone who’s been a Cleveland sports fan for more than fifteen minutes gets this. It’s appropriate now that the Indians have packed it in for the season and we haven’t played the All Star game yet.

It will be our pleasure to delete this link once the Browns, Indians, or most likely the Cavaliers win a championship.

There’s a whole line of this at our Whiggy Tease store. Shop today. And if you’re not from Cleveland, buy some more of the James K. Polk stuff.

If there’s a demand, we’ll make a version of this sports shirt for our friends in Seattle. And if the Ghost of Tim Russert instructs us to do so, there will be a version for folks from Buffalo.

It's always Ladies Night here at Whiggy Tease

2009-07-11T11:58:00.000-04:00

No, you aren’t just imagining things. All of the Whiggy Tease products designed specifically for the ladies are less expensive than the products for men, children or pets.

Let’s be absolutely clear. The stuff for men, children and pets has not been marked up.

However, we lower the price significantly for the ladies. Because that’s how we roll here at Whiggy Tease.

Look, we could buy ads to promote our stuff. Or, we could make our products more accessible to the pretty ladies, and let them sell it for us.

The Napoleon of the South vs. Sarah Palin

2009-07-07T23:49:00.003-04:00

Prior to the launch of Whiggy Tease, we assumed the most popular item in our store would be one of the Sarah Palin products. It appeals to right-wing Republicans and shoe fetishists. We figured this one item would be the one that would make us rich.

Now, while the Palin swag is selling, you know which politician is outselling her?

That’s right. James K. Polk.

We also have this smaller design available in the James K. Polk store.

Why is the Polk stuff so popular? We’re certain it has to be due to They Might Be Giants and their song about our 11th President. You’ve heard it before if you’ve ever listened to NPR on Presidents Day.

Yes, we will.

2009-07-03T23:16:00.005-04:00

The Whiggy Tease focus groups went very well. Response to the opening of the Whiggy Tease store has been overwhelmingly positive, and we’re selling merchandise not only to friends but to total strangers across America and in Europe.

Please note that we said “overwhelmingly positive,” and not “completely positive.”

“The site’s a little red, and I’m blue,” said a member of Whiggy Tease Nation. “I’m very blue.”

To be clear, Whiggy Tease is going to pander, er, sell to folks of all political persuasion. It’s true that right now that there is more pro-Republican stuff on the site right now than there is Democratic stuff. Why?

Well, Republicans tend to have more money and their credit cards are less likely to be rejected, so we try to sell to them first. Also, it’s funnier making Republican stuff. You should see the Nixon items that we have in development. Nixon is comedic gold.

But here’s the main reason – we don’t have The Obama Font yet.

We have lots of pro-Obama items floating around in our brains. Some anti-stuff too for you haters. But it doesn’t look right without the Obama font. It’s called “gotham,” and we don’t have it yet. We’re hoping to buy, borrow or steal it soon, and when we do, we’ll start selling Obama stuff.

It’s also come to our attention that there is an Obama handwriting font.

We’re working on that too.

So keep buying the Nixon stuff for now, we’ll get around to Obama swag in a few weeks.

Our favorite.

2009-07-01T12:20:00.000-04:00

If you have more than one kid, you know the answer when you are asked which one is your favorite. “You’re all my favorite,” you say without hesitation.

That’s probably the truth. Maybe it’s a lie, but you say it regardless. Or, if you’re really sneaky, you tell your daughter that she is your favorite, and then you leave the room and tell your son that he’s your favorite.

But when it comes to items in the Whiggy Tease line, which is our favorite? “All of the items are our favorite.”

That’s a load of BS. Our favorite item, as of right now, is the following.

What if Moveon.org or other 529’s existed back in the day? We’d imagine they’d put out products like this. This is the sort of thing we think about a lot at Whiggy Tease. You can look forward to many, many, many more items like this in the future.

What else do we like about this product?

Well, allow us to pat ourselves on the back. We like the use of the word “treacherous.” We’re proud the shirt doesn’t urge you to “contact” or “write” your Senator, it insists that you telegraph him.

Oh, and this tested extremely well in the focus groups.

Shirts are available now in the store, and we’ll get around to bumper stickers when we get around to bumper stickers.

With a little help from our friends.

2009-07-01T12:09:00.001-04:00

Almost by definition, folks who are friends of Whiggy Tease are creative and clever. So, when they have an idea for a product, we’ll create it and sell it and keep all the money for ourselves.

With that, we’d like to share two Whiggy Tease items based on ideas of our friends.

The first is from Eric in Toledo. Our original Abraham Lincoln line didn’t test well in the focus groups. Because it was lame. Then, Eric suggested we focus not on Lincoln’s time as President, but his time in Illinois as a lawyer. Eric wrote the following and we turned it into a somewhat authentic looking product.

This is the framed tile. But in the Whiggy Tease Lincoln store, you can get shirts, tote bags, mouse pads, tank tops, clothes for kids and even a keepsake box.

It’s authentic looking stuff, down to the retro spelling of the word “counsellors.”

Next up is Amanda from Minnesota. We haven’t seen Amanda in 15 years, but she contributed a faboo idea for an item for your exiled Republican friends.

Amanda reports that the first ever Republican Party meeting was held in a little white school house in a place called Ripon, Wisconsin. Sure, you’ll find people in Iowa and other places who dispute this, but we believe Amanda.

The Old School Republican line is for sale in Aisle One. You can get shirts, mouse pads and tote bags. Aisle One is also where we keep our Henry Clay, Herbert Hoover and Civil War items.

Whiggy Tease 24/7/365

2009-06-30T23:00:00.000-04:00

If you don’t own a Christmas tie, you probably know someone who does.

In the Whiggy Tease family, that “someone” is Mike’s dad. He started off with a Christmas tie. Then, multiple Christmas ties. It just kept snowballing from there. We’ll see his Independence Day tie in a few days. There’s a President’s Day tie, a tie for a birth of a baby, and there probably isn’t a day on the calendar or an important (or even semi-important) event he doesn’t have a tie for.

Which got us thinking.

We’ve discussed the importance of 7/6. Now, let’s discuss the importance of 7/11. Actually, we’ll let some clever kids from the YouTube do it for us.

With that, Whiggy Tease is proud to announce it has a shirt for 7/11…

It’s our long term goal to have a shirt for every single day of the year. This may take us several years, but we have the time and the patience.

As for this particular shirt, we were going for the “What if Don King promoted this duel” type of thing. It’s also authentic, as the guns pictured are the type of guns Hamilton and Burr used. We hope you like it, but more importantly, we hope you buy it.

Whiggy Tease can win you friends, find you a lover or get you punched in the face.

2009-06-30T22:17:00.000-04:00

So imagine you walk into a bar wearing the t-shirt pictured below.

Odds are, you’ll get some looks. Nobody is going to comprehend what you’re wearing. Someone’s going to ask you what your shirt – your Whiggy Tease shirt – is all about.

And you can tell them what it is about.

So maybe they’ll laugh. They’ll think the shirt is clever, and you’re clever for buying it, and maybe they’ll want to buy it and a lifelong friendship will begin.

Maybe you’ll become lovers.

Or, of course, the person might disagree with your view and punch you in the face.

Perhaps you like the point of view that this line of Whiggy Tease products is promoting, but perhaps you want something that is a bit lighter hearted. We can do that. How about this product?

Or, maybe you’re just pissed off, and you don’t care who knows it. You don’t care about being clever our light hearted or subtle. Whiggy Tease can take care of your needs with this product.

The Whiggy Tease difference is in the detail.

2009-06-29T10:21:00.000-04:00

Yeah, you can buy all sorts of Sarah Palin crap on-line, at Café Press and other sites. Know what the difference is here at Whiggy Tease? It’s the detail that goes into the craftsmanship.

You can buy plenty of shirts for Sarah Palin featuring one of her sexy high heel shoes. But where can you buy a Palin product featuring a high heel shoe…

… with a skull and cross bone?

Nowhere. But at Whiggy Tease, in the Sarah Palin 2012 store. That’s why we’re better.

From now on, it's THE Bowling Green State University

2009-06-29T08:51:00.000-04:00

The “THE” makes us kind of hysterical.

A few years back, a big university in the middle of Ohio redesigned their logo and informed the world that they would now like to be called The Ohio State University, thank you very much. Being “Ohio State University” wasn’t good enough anymore.

Not sure why. OSU was a lovely enough school without the “THE.” Not as lovely as the school the Whiggy Tease creators went to, but more on that later. There certainly wasn’t any need for “THE.” Adding the “THE” was a solution for which there was no problem.

Having said that, we want our school to add one.

Jim and Mike are proud graduates of Bowling Green State University. Like Ohio State, it’s in Ohio. But it’s better. The students are smarter, the girls are prettier and the main street outside of campus is not covered in a thin layer Taco Bell wrappers, like a park is covered with newly fallen leaves every October, like, say, Ohio State.

Now, Ohio State is a fine place to visit and we have friends and relatives who went there, we certainly don’t have a problem with the place. Seriously, okay? Now get your credit cards out and buy some some of our James Polk t-shirts, okay.

Getting back on track... Ohio State has a “THE,” and we think our school should have one. Why not? It’d be fun, and it would make our Ohio State friends insane.

So, from now on, it’s THE Bowling Green State University.

But some of you already know that. In fact, some of you may have already joined the Facebook group by the same name.

But here’s what you didn’t know… until right now. Whiggy Tease has come up with a line of “THE” items for the future The Bowling Green State University.

There are t-shirts, of course.

There’s clothes for kids, there’s clothes for babies. There’s also a bib.

We’ve also taken the time to come up with buttons and stickers. There's a mousepad, there's a clock, and frankly, we come up with a lot of this stuff in the middle of the night, so there might be swag we don't even know about. Oh, there are also undergarments, for reasons that make no sense to anyone.

The swag will certainly start a conversation. The look is simple, it’s clean. And it’s vague enough not to violate any copyright laws, at least that’s what our lawyers tell us.

So, buy away. Shop until you drop, and have your friends do the same. Try to avoid the temptation to buy THE stickers and plaster them above the words “Bowling Green State University” on campus. Seriously, don’t do that.

But please, buy the stuff and wear it constantly. We’ll be looking for you on campus this football season, and of course, during hockey season.

The Bowling Green State University won the NCAA hockey championship in 1984. The Ohio State University, in contrast, has never done such a thing.

Whiggy Tease is now open for business!

2009-06-29T03:03:00.000-04:00

Welcome! Come on in. No need to rush. Please, no pushing. We're open 24 hours a day, and we have plenty of inventory.

What is Whiggy Tease?

Whiggy Tease is an outlet for Jim and Mike to burn off much of their creative energy. While doing that, they hope to become millionaires many times over, or at least continue to manage to feed their respective children.

Whiggy Tease is your on-line shopping destination for Historical Stuff, Modern Politics, and Miscellaneous Nonsense. We have shirts, stickers, hoodies, clothes for kids, buttons, clocks, coffee mugs, and in rare instances, underwear.

Whiggy Tease is for history fans, Democrats, Republicans, Whigs, the satisfied and the disgruntled. You probably fit in that group, or you know somebody who does.

So, shop away. Tell everyone you know. Bookmark this site, as it will be your home for the latest Whiggy Tease News, including discussions of our products, information on special promotions, and if you all are so moved, customers modeling our stuff.

Buy something today. We'd like to be filthy rich Sooner, rather than Later.

I'll give you a hint.

2009-06-09T22:55:00.000-04:00

What is Whiggy Tease?

It's new. It's improved. It's old-fashioned.

Welcome to Whiggy Tease.

2009-06-03T11:54:00.000-04:00

What is Whiggy Tease? Find out July 4th, 2009.